Picture from Digital Spy
Your future dream is a shopping scheme! Anarchy in the UK indeed, if punk rock wasn't already dead then it is now. Or is it? The actual answer is no, because let's be totally honest, the Sex Pistols weren't all that punky to begin with. Okay so they said some variations on the word 'fuck' on Nationwide, the 1970s equivalent of The One Show but even that doesn't hold up nowadays, however shocking it was in 1976. The Pistols were put together by a svengali with pound signs in his eyes just as thousands of groups including The Monkees and One Direction were before and since, so the fact that they are now being used to push credit cards is only shocking because it didn't happen sooner. In fact it is surprising that Malcolm McLaren didn't go the whole hog and exploit the band's brief moment in the spotlight by licencing their image on breakfast cereal, toothbrushes, and whatever other shit impressionable pop fans part with their pocket money for.
Ageing punks might get a kick out of handing over a credit card with the word 'bollocks' on it, but as John Mortimer QC managed to prove in Nottingham Magistrates Court on November 24th 1977, the word isn't even a sweary one so that pisses on that particular line of marketing. The fact is that no true punk would go for any band branded credit card, be it The Clash, Crass, Ramones, Stiff Little Fingers, Sham 69 or Anal Cunt (although it would be fun to pull that out of your wallet in John Lewis) any more than they would make the tills ring in a so-called alternative shop by purchasing a glass, mug, ashtray, alarm clock or set of golf clubs with a band logo on it.
Today we have Iggy Pop selling car insurance (ironically for a company that don't insure entertainers), John Lydon flogging butter (although to be fair he did it with good intentions - to finance a PIL album, a far superior band to the Pistols), and adverts using The Ramones and Eddie and the Hot Rods songs, not forgetting that in 1991 The Clash helped to sell Levi 501s. With this in mind it is perhaps best if we don't get our knickers in a twist over this credit card. This is Virgin after all and I for one won't be rushing to trust my finances to a company that can't provide a decent Internet service or run their trains on time. By giving this publicity, (and I am aware that by writing this blog then I am part of it) we have done exactly what Richard Branson wants, talked about Richard fucking Branson!
The Sunday Alternative will return soon.
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June housekeeping
The audio book of Bowie Day (a short story inspired by A Christmas Carol) will be released on August 31st. In the meantime the book can be downloaded to your Kindle from here.
All donations made using the PayPal button will go towards making podcasts, comedy sketches, live video sessions, documentaries, short films and more that will be made available online for free.
The Sunday Alternative bag and t-shirt (and other products) can be purchased from my shop page. All money raised will go into the fund to create free content.
steveEoliver@gmail.com
