On the Buses: A Kitchen Sink Drama

Before you read the main article, please consider making a donation using the PayPal button above or at this link. This enables me to continue providing films, music videos, documentaries, podcasts, comedy sketches and art. Every penny donated is used in the creation of these projects which are made available for free as a reward and thank you for your generosity. 

If you can't afford to donate, then please help spread the word by sharing my work on social media. Please also help me to lose the word 'underfollowed' from my bios by following me and recommending me to others. My social media links are at the end of the article.

When it comes to the 1970s school of overacting in situation comedy, there can only be one winner. On the Buses. Here is a show that on the surface is terrible, yet at the same time it is strangely compelling.

On the Buses ran between 1969 and 1973, during which time seventy-nine episodes were churned out along with three movies, two stage plays, a board game, a strip in Look In, a sequel (Don't Drink the Water - a vehicle for Stephen Lewis) and even an American remake. In 1990 the cast appeared in a bizarre interview with Terry Wogan to discuss a purely speculative new series called Back On the Buses, which only Reg Varney seemed to want to get involved with. The show was amateurish and farcical yet despite being unanimously shit-canned by critics it was inexplicably popular. On the Buses was the Mrs Brown's Boys of its day. 

Of course, On the Buses was far from highbrow. It didn't seem to weight too heavily on the writers Ronald Wolfe and Ronald Chesney to write a second draft, and LWT's comedy department appeared to cock a snook at the hackneyed convention of rehearsal. However, the more I watched (this was one of my lockdown binges), the more an idea formulated in my head.

Stan Butler is trapped in a cramped environment, unable to escape his needy mother and the endless rowing between his sister and brother-in-law (a situation explored with pathos in Steptoe and Son). The front room is rarely used, a common working-class behaviour, so the day-to-day interaction takes place in the combined kitchen and living area that if 'smellyvision' had ever been invented would pump the aroma of fried food and cigarettes out of your television. Strip away the comedy (not a massive undertaking) and what you're left with is a traditional kitchen sink drama. Most of the conversations/arguments are about money and the lack of it, and Stan only really cares about pissing off his boss by doing the bare minimum at work before going out to pull a 'bird'.

Stan Butler therefore is Arthur Seaton if Saturday Night and Sunday Morning was a shit sitcom. By isolating certain scenes, removing the laughter (fuck knows what the audience were laughing at most of the time), turning it to black and white, I was able to re-imagine On the Buses. I made minimal use of Bob Grant's character of Jack as he was far too cartoonish as was Olive, got rid of all the sexism and racism popular with 70s comedy (although on the racism front, OTB was by no way the worst offender) and used scenes where the actors weren't shouting their lines as if in a pantomime rehearsal. By focussing on the dialogue relating to being able to make HP payments, the need to do overtime and who manages to put the housekeeping on the table on Friday, I developed a look at working class life during the seventies. Assuming it is the seventies, the series seems to exist in a long-gone universe of mangles, coal fires and tallymen. 

Taking inspiration from the aforementioned Saturday Night and Sunday Morning, I isolated some key scenes and attempted to make the opening and closing titles resemble the movie version. Then I was left with how to put these scenes into some kind of order to create a kind of story arc. For this I used the William S Burroughs cutting method, as used by another one of my creative heroes, David Bowie.

This was a whimsical idea that I only took a few days on to create what is known as a collage film. I have not made room on my awards shelf in anticipation, but I hope if you watch it, you will enjoy it. Please remember to share this.

On the Buses: A Kitchen Sink Drama is available to watch for free here

Twitter  

Instagram

 Facebook

Picture created by Chris Barker @Christhebarker

It's quite a morbid subject for Christmas Eve I'll admit, but I was in the pub two days ago with Mandi and my dad having our traditional Christmas Eve drinks and the conversation turned round to all the famous people we have lost this year. My dad has it in his head that someone always goes on Christmas Day, but that isn't always the case. I had a look at famous deaths on Christmas Day on Google and although there was a name for every year there wasn't a huge amount of what you would call 'celebrity' buckets kicked on the 25th of December. Charlie Chaplin in 1977, Dean Martin in 1995, James Brown in 2006 and Eartha Kitt in 2008 are probably the biggest showbiz names. 

Obviously this year has been quite a big one for the deaths of famous people, and what makes it sad is that they have all been well loved and respected names, no balance was provided by Gary Glitter or Rolf Harris popping their clogs, we lost the good ones this year. The outpouring of grief at David Bowie's passing in January was on a scale that I personally haven't seen since Princess Diana was murdered by the in-laws and I doubt that anyone will provoke such a response again. Not to disparage any of the others of course, I was saddened by the news of Ronnie Corbett's death and Terry Wogan was one of my favourite radio presenters. On the night Victoria Wood died we watched two of her live stand up videos in tribute, not quite believing that it could be real. Caroline Aherne was another surprise death, followed a few months later by her on screen grandmother Liz Smith, who we had recently watched in two different film versions of A Christmas Carol. 

To go back to our pub conversation there was the obvious secrecy surrounding the Queen, has she already died but the Palace want to wait until until after Christmas to break the news? Or maybe they don't want her adding to the above illustration. There was also the matter of some elderly entertainers knocking about and still going strong, Barry Cryer for example or indeed any of the members of I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue, or what about David Jason? Only Fools and Horses still has an association with Christmas so his death would be quite a headline grabber. There are obviously too many people to choose from and not a single person that we of course wanted it to happen to, and my dad suggested that this Christmas the big show business death would be a rank outsider from the obvious suspects, which of course opened the field considerably. 

On the way home I looked at my phone to see what I had missed and saw that Rick Parfitt had died. I know he has had health issues in the past and these had influenced his decision to leave Status Quo, but I didn't see that coming at all. Quo were never a cool band (at least not in my lifetime) yet they are a band I have always liked mainly because they always looked like they were enjoying themselves with two fingers firmly stuck up to the likes of the NME. Admittedly their fans could be rather odd but if standing in front of the stage playing air guitar to the band is your thing then go for your life, if you don't give a shit how daft you look then neither should anyone else. 

So there you have it, 2016 wasn't brilliant but Rick Parfitt is surely the last to go and there won't be a big surprise. 

Christmas Day was lovely, even for me who doesn't really like Christmas yet have been feeling oddly festive this year for some reason. We went to my dad's for lunch (after I had released the podcast - it was a Sunday after all) and in the evening we had tea at ours. As there wasn't really a great deal on television we ended up watching a countdown of Christmas songs with all the usual suspects being played - Shakin' Stevens, Mud, Slade, and Wham! 'Last Christmas' is a beautiful song and especially poignant because it was held off the Christmas number one by the original Band Aid (that was shown too, we still enjoy naming people, including Rick Parfitt who I think is the only dead person in the video - so far), and George Michael donated the money from his song to the Feed the World charity. Once that was finished my dad left the house and I went out for a cigarette while having a check on my phone. My dad was out of sight so I couldn't shout after him so I phoned him to tell him that his rank outsider prediction had come true.

I didn't think that the death of someone I didn't know could shock me as much as David Bowie, or cause as much grief and upset among fans. That was before George Michael's death was announced towards the end of Christmas Day. Nobody could have seen that coming and I think it caused genuine shock as he was only young. Although outwardly one of the indie kids when I was younger, I did of course do my apprenticeship through the charts, Radio 1 and Top of the Pops and Wham! were brilliant. Not quite as cool as Duran Duran but certainly a cut above some of the gunk that was out there at the time. The Make It Big album is one that I have on vinyl and listening to it recently it sounds as fresh and relevant as it did in 1984. 

2016 really saved itself for a finale, only Her Majesty can top this.

===

 This week's edition of The Sunday Alternative is here. 

Thank you in advance for donating using the PayPal button at the top of this page. It all goes towards creating podcasts, sketches, documentaries, films and more, all of which I will make available for free in return for your generosity.

Picture from BBC

Without bothering to research it I can't tell you the exact date, but I do remember on the day that Benny Hill died there was a hastily compiled tribute on ITV. The presenter (can't remember who it was) was a show business friend of Hill's and obviously didn't have time to digest the news before being thrown in front of the camera. In hindsight this half hour programme (regardless of your opinion of Benny Hill) was more of an insult than a tribute. 

2016 has been quite the year for famous deaths, especially it seems famous people with talent. David Bowie started things off and the world hasn't quite been the same. Some people have pointed out that most of the people who have died have been old, but when it is a certain person it is a shock and can be upsetting. Certain entertainers have been with us all our lives, depending on your age of course, which makes it somehow feel more personal. Ronnie Corbett was someone who felt like a part of the family, as was Sir Terry Wogan. When Wogan's death was announced on the morning of Sunday 31 January, Radio 2 understandably turned over most of the morning's broadcasting to his favourite music and happy memories shared by presenters and listeners alike. However the BBC have waited until the time was absolutely right to show a deserved tribute.

This evening BBC1 broadcast a tribute that could easily be a television highlight of the year. We the viewer gradually found out that Sir Terry Wogan was a genuinely nice person with no hidden depth and no scandal (although we can say it now, did Operation Yewtree enter anyone else's mind when he suddenly pulled out of Children In Need? Don't get me wrong, I didn't want that to have happened I'm just making a point). I didn't realise just how much television he had done, his thrice weekly chat show was a lesson in how to get the best out of a guest who in the main was only there as part of a press junket to flog a film or a book. Radio is my favourite medium though, and this is where Wogan shone. When I was a postman I listened to Wake Up To Wogan every morning and the guy made it look so easy. There aren't many broadcasters that smooth and controlled over a show, Steve Wright is another that springs to mind but there's a difference. Steve Wright turns up to work several hours before his 2pm show and prepares meticulously, and it shows whereas apparently Wogan used to turn up minutes before he was due on air and didn't believe in rehearsal, it just happened for him and his death is a sad loss for radio. There's not many true radio greats left, so make the most of it before we are just left with bland vacuous playlist led radio.

===

 This week's edition of The Sunday Alternative is here. 

Thank you in advance for donating using the PayPal button at the top of this page. It all goes towards creating podcasts, sketches, documentaries, films and more, all of which I will make available for free in return for your generosity.

Simon Dee And The Creation Of Celebrity

At school, I wrote an essay about a man called Simon Dee that I unfortunately no longer have in my possession. In those days, we wrote things down on paper and handed them in, in the hope that the teacher would like it enough to give it a decent grade. I doubt very much that my old school has an underground archive library of old essays, otherwise I would get in touch and ask if I could use it as source material. My stand out memory of my ‘A’ graded two thousand words is my treatment of the subject himself. Simon Dee was almost a fictional character in my eyes, surely a person cannot suddenly stop being famous? Therefore, he was a made up character.

In this age we live in of undeserved instant fame, it is inconceivable that a celebrity could fall off the radar in such a dramatic fashion. When there are only two television networks, and your belief in your own press cuttings makes you arrogant enough to piss them both off, you cannot go on television anymore.

Simon Dee came from a time when presenters were paid a wage, and the contracts and benefits were not as fruitful as they are now. As today’s television personalities own their own production company they are in a position to be in charge. There are also whole rafts of different television channels to go and work for. If you storm out, then your talent can be appreciated elsewhere.

Look at the behaviour displayed by Chris Evans; Radio One refused to let him have Friday off from the breakfast shows to concentrate on TFI Friday (in my opinion an iconic time capsule of the 1990s musical landscape), so he walked out in a huff. His television career did not flounder, and Virgin Radio was quick to invite him to do the breakfast show, which was identical to the old one. He then bought the station and became a prize dick! His refusal to turn up to work led to an acrimonious departure, which must have been a huge worry for him having to live on his last £75million! The BBC eventually gave him a second chance and now he has gone from the firebrand DJ rebel and Britpop champion to present a cosy couple of hours every weekday evening on Radio Two. A gesture of goodwill from the Beeb not afforded to Simon Dee all those years ago.

Even the media shitstorm created by Jonathon Ross and Russell Brand last year did little to temper the pay packets of the two culprits. After serving a suspension, Jonathon Ross is back to business as usual, (albeit a watered down shadow of his former self) on the same channel. Both Ross and Brand produced their own shows and moonlight as producers on other shows.

When Paul O’Grady had a contract dispute with ITV, he just upped sticks and moved to Channel Four. Or rather he did not do any actual moving, he carried on making his own show from the same studio (in the BBC oddly enough) with an identical format. Something that would not have been considered during the days of BBC or ITV or nothing.

Last year I did some research into the life and career of Simon Dee for a project that will now never happen. I caught some youtube clips of his old shows for a start, and read Whatever Happened to Simon Dee? The Story of a Sixties Star by Richard Wiseman. Looking at the footage of him in action on his top rated talk show Dee Time, I was taken aback by how amateurish he appeared. He was not a great interviewer; he looked ill at ease and very ‘Alan Partridge’ in places. However, he was also creating a new style of interview technique, years ahead of his time. Think about the chat shows of recent years, TFI Friday, The Word, The Big Breakfast, Loose Women, Richard and Judy, Des O’Conner Tonight and all the way back to Russell Harty and Terry Wogan. What do they all have in common? The answer is that none of them actually looked like they could carry an interview in a bucket, but at the same time made the audience feel at ease so they would warm to them. Television interviewers were very stiff before Simon Dee. He relaxed the etiquette of a chat show host and paved the way for all the imitators.

He is also alleged to be the main influence for the Austin Powers character, and it is easy to see why.

As is the case with many episodes of Top Of The Pops, Doctor Who and Not Only…But Also as the obvious examples, Dee Time fell victim to the BBC’s idiotic policy of wiping valuable tapes to use again.

The BBC’s money saving exercise in reusing tapes has left a hole in some rich television history, none more so than Simon Dee’s stint as a talk show host. In the BBC archive library at Windmill Road in London, you will find just one whole episode of Dee Time, along with several random clips of nine other shows.

This is in contravention of the BBC’s charter, drawn up in 1927 ‘to establish and maintain libraries and archives containing material relevant to the objects of the Corporation, and to make available to the public such libraries and archives with or without charge’.

After a drop in ratings, the show was moved around the schedules much to Dee’s chagrin. He left the BBC under a cloud and presented The Simon Dee Show for LWT.

Soon he fell out with them, and after a time hiding from and being caught by bailiffs, and claiming £6.90 a week dole money he set off to Australia to present a chat show for Channel 9. A dispute with management over money in which the network boss told him “We’ve been reading in the papers about you being short of money and signing on the dole, this is a hell of a lot more than the dole”.

Since that event, he went to prison for none payment of bills, made brief comebacks in radio, only to fall out with someone high up, marry four times, and become a subject of investigation due to his political beliefs. This led him to a paranoid period of writing letters to the press accusing ‘them’ of tapping his phone.

As I said before, such a fate would never had become of Simon Dee if he did it all in today’s media. Falling out of favour is good for business in some respects. Jade Goody went from national joke, to tolerated but not entirely disliked, to racist bully and national hate figure, to national treasure again.

Even if he did fall out of favour because he upset someone, a week or two in the jungle eating crocodile bollocks, or learning to ice skate or whatever would earn a few grand and hopefully lead to his second Warhol allocated fifteen minutes of fame.

Simon Dee will never know the legacy of celebrity he has bequeathed us. For better or for worse is a matter of debate when you look around a world of Heat magazine and game show contestants being turned into pop stars.

Nevertheless, is it better to be famous for being famous, or famous for having once been famous?