On the Buses: A Kitchen Sink Drama

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When it comes to the 1970s school of overacting in situation comedy, there can only be one winner. On the Buses. Here is a show that on the surface is terrible, yet at the same time it is strangely compelling.

On the Buses ran between 1969 and 1973, during which time seventy-nine episodes were churned out along with three movies, two stage plays, a board game, a strip in Look In, a sequel (Don't Drink the Water - a vehicle for Stephen Lewis) and even an American remake. In 1990 the cast appeared in a bizarre interview with Terry Wogan to discuss a purely speculative new series called Back On the Buses, which only Reg Varney seemed to want to get involved with. The show was amateurish and farcical yet despite being unanimously shit-canned by critics it was inexplicably popular. On the Buses was the Mrs Brown's Boys of its day. 

Of course, On the Buses was far from highbrow. It didn't seem to weight too heavily on the writers Ronald Wolfe and Ronald Chesney to write a second draft, and LWT's comedy department appeared to cock a snook at the hackneyed convention of rehearsal. However, the more I watched (this was one of my lockdown binges), the more an idea formulated in my head.

Stan Butler is trapped in a cramped environment, unable to escape his needy mother and the endless rowing between his sister and brother-in-law (a situation explored with pathos in Steptoe and Son). The front room is rarely used, a common working-class behaviour, so the day-to-day interaction takes place in the combined kitchen and living area that if 'smellyvision' had ever been invented would pump the aroma of fried food and cigarettes out of your television. Strip away the comedy (not a massive undertaking) and what you're left with is a traditional kitchen sink drama. Most of the conversations/arguments are about money and the lack of it, and Stan only really cares about pissing off his boss by doing the bare minimum at work before going out to pull a 'bird'.

Stan Butler therefore is Arthur Seaton if Saturday Night and Sunday Morning was a shit sitcom. By isolating certain scenes, removing the laughter (fuck knows what the audience were laughing at most of the time), turning it to black and white, I was able to re-imagine On the Buses. I made minimal use of Bob Grant's character of Jack as he was far too cartoonish as was Olive, got rid of all the sexism and racism popular with 70s comedy (although on the racism front, OTB was by no way the worst offender) and used scenes where the actors weren't shouting their lines as if in a pantomime rehearsal. By focussing on the dialogue relating to being able to make HP payments, the need to do overtime and who manages to put the housekeeping on the table on Friday, I developed a look at working class life during the seventies. Assuming it is the seventies, the series seems to exist in a long-gone universe of mangles, coal fires and tallymen. 

Taking inspiration from the aforementioned Saturday Night and Sunday Morning, I isolated some key scenes and attempted to make the opening and closing titles resemble the movie version. Then I was left with how to put these scenes into some kind of order to create a kind of story arc. For this I used the William S Burroughs cutting method, as used by another one of my creative heroes, David Bowie.

This was a whimsical idea that I only took a few days on to create what is known as a collage film. I have not made room on my awards shelf in anticipation, but I hope if you watch it, you will enjoy it. Please remember to share this.

On the Buses: A Kitchen Sink Drama is available to watch for free here

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The centre of Nottingham on a lunchtime is a hive of religious people preaching the good work of Jesus and why we should all join in. It doesn't bother me for a minute because it is all about free speech and if you take theirs away then for fairness we should all lose it. If somebody believes in what they are shouting then I respect their right to say it, just as long as they don't overstep certain boundaries. Even freedom to publicly broadcast your opinions has limits and the police are allowed to step in if complaints are made.

So every weekday Jesus gets a good round of PR from his followers and nobody seems to mind. They are easy to ignore of course (although I was guiltily pleased with myself for shouting 'Parklife' when walking past once, but only because the speaker had the correct rhythm to allow me to do it) and they aren't really hurting anybody. What got me thinking though, was how little Nottingham makes use of the Speakers' Corner. In actual fact the Speakers' Corner in Nottingham is just a paving stone near the statue of Brian Clough when it should I reckon be a raised stage. 

Also, if people are allowed to use the passing public as an audience to hear all about how great Jesus is/was, then why can't people use the public speaking gift to discuss other fictional characters? I would love to stop and hear a preacher extolling the virtues of Batman, or Grant Mitchell, or Stan Butler from On The Buses, or someone from one of those popular shows that everyone talks about like Game of Thrones or something. 

Actually, Santa Claus would be ideal for the Christmas shopping crowd on the busy weekends leading up to the big day. While you're shouting about a man with a white beard who can see you at all times, judging and rewarding you based on your behaviour, some people would think you were talking about God.

I feel a comedy video series coming on!

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Picture from HUKD

When Eric Sykes died I commented that the sitcom Sykes is now a 'ghost sitcom' in that none of the cast are still alive, even Dad's Army have two people hanging in there wondering why they weren't offered a cameo in the new film remake. Today we lost Stephen Lewis, best known (a polite way of saying 'typecast') as Blakey from one of my favourite sitcoms On The Buses. It is only Anna Karen who played Olive that is now preventing On The Buses from becoming another ghost sitcom. I always find it strange when I watch something where everybody on screen is dead, Laurel & Hardy films are a good example because we all remember the two leads but everyone around them is also in the ground. It makes me wonder if they would have predicted that their popularity would continue almost one hundred years later. 

I also wonder about the minor characters in such films or television programmes, for example the extras in a black and white episode of Coronation Street might all be dead with nobody to remember them. 

Stephen Lewis made a rod for his own back when it came to typecasting as he never quite managed to shake off the association with his most famous role, and even his next big part as Harry the signalman in Oh, Doctor Beeching! was Blakey-like in mannerisms. His later appearances in Jim Davidson's Generation Game and The All New Alexei Sayle Show were simply Blakey in all but name. His achievements as a playwright, screenwriter and director have been sadly overlooked as the papers just refer to Blakey being dead. With co-star Bob Grant (Jack the conductor) he wrote several episodes of On The Buses and appeared again as Blakey in a forgettable spin off Don't Drink The Water, which saw his character retire to Spain. Having never seen it before despite being a big fan of On The Buses I watched the first episode on YouTube and can honestly say that when it comes to contrived nonsense I haven't seen anything so piss poor since the first episode of Still Open All Hours. 

As a tribute I think it would be nice if all bus companies agreed to run on time, although living in Nottingham I doubt that would ever happen.

The Sunday Alternative #51 is available from here.

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August housekeeping

We are now in the eighth month of the year and at a standstill as far as work is concerned. In unrelated news, it is my birthday on the 27th of this month so a nice present would be a donation using the PayPal button. This would be spent on creating podcasts, documentaries, short films, comedy sketches and various other entertainments that I will make available to enjoy online for free.

The above t-shirt and bag is also available to buy, all the money goes to the same creative fund. They are on my shop page.

I'll play you a kazoo song request, find out how here.

Letter of complaint written for you for £2, here.

steveEoliver@gmail.com

@SteveOliver76

Picture from 35 Years of David Lynch

Today was a waste of a day in some respects although on the other hand productive in that I got the podcast recorded for tomorrow. Because I hadn't had time during the week to get all the music together (I knew what I was playing but didn't have it all together) and write my notes up I had to do it all today which added to the time. Mandi hasn't been well so she didn't want to go into town and I had stuff to do and had written a pretty ambitious to-do list for today. Why I bothered to write a list is something I can't answer as I am way behind on everything at the moment and am pissing in the wind as far as my work schedule is concerned. 

In order to set myself up for the day I took Jack for a walk and had breakfast before getting set up in my office for the day. First of all I got through some admin and attempted to write my daily blog up to date as I am falling behind in that too, which isn't fair on the minority of people who pay to read it on their Kindle every day, (99p a month and available from here). The priority was of course to get the podcast recorded and uploaded to the Internet Archive and set up the page on the blog for it, this saves me a bit of time in the morning as I am against the clock on a Sunday as I only have a small window of time between getting up and doing the podcast admin before Mandi starts nagging me to get ready for lunch at my dad's. 

I somehow eventually got the podcast finished and after a quick playback had everything sorted out for tomorrow, and then to relax and clear my head I decided that I wouldn't manage to accomplish anything else because Saturday night is our night for a bit of togetherness and I agree not to do any work. Our next box set is Jeeves and Wooster, the early 1990s series starring Steven Fry and Hugh Laurie and we started that tonight. Mandi also ordered Jonathan Creek which I'm not totally bothered about but have found myself getting into. She still refuses to watch the complete On The Buses with me.

The Sunday Alternative #47 is available from here.

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July Housekeeping

Bags and T-Shirts are still available from here. All money goes in the fund. Feel free to browse the shop page while you're there.

If you donate £5 or more, you get to choose a song for me to cover on kazoo for a YouTube video, details here.

Seriously, I am grateful for the donations so if you haven't got round to it yet, I thank you in advance.

steveEoliver@gmail.com

@SteveOliver76

Picture from Wikipedia

After working our way through I'm Alan Partridge we completed the story (although we haven't watched Mid Morning Matters) by watching the film Alan Partridge: Alpha Papa. I didn't know what to expect as movie spin-offs of television comedy doesn't really have a great track record, with the exception of the three film adaptations of On The Buses of course. Thankfully the same writing team that have followed Partridge throughout his on-screen life were on board, and I'm happy to reassure anyone who hasn't seen it yet but are thinking about it that it wasn't ruined. For me the only thing that could have made it appear contrived was the fact that Michael the Geordie was now a security guard at the radio station, having worked at the hotel in series one of I'm Alan Partridge and the petrol station in series two. Would someone really follow a person around either by coincidence or obsession like that? 

The story actually had a ring of truth running through it, as North Norfolk Digital is bought out by a large media company who have also bought a rival station. All of the local identity vanished and eventually the listeners were being subjected to the same blandness you get from all commercial mainstream radio with safe music choices and no creative input from the presenters. It all sounds familiar doesn't it? People still talk about the old Radio Trent in a way that nobody will about Capital FM in years to come. A siege at the station follows, including a brilliant scene involving an old road show lorry driving down the road too slowly. By the end of the film Alan Partridge was a hero and hosting the breakfast show on the station, so it was nice to see him winning for a change. Although the character has existed for over twenty years, in my opinion it has only really started to work due to him being older. Partridge needed to be a pompous middle aged man to really bring out his character, (although he has somehow only aged around six years since 2002), the sort of man who would count Mike Read and various other faded but at the same time still working broadcasters as friends.

We had a Chinese takeaway last night, not one of my favourite areas of takeaway food but nice to have occasionally. This morning I recalled the dreams I had during the night. First of all I was outside a pub called The Ship in Marske, where my late Granddad Eddie got out of a car followed by my Nana Freda and my parents in their wedding gear. Having seen the wedding photos I could conjur up a fairly accurate image of the day, although why my dream imagination couldn't have walked five minutes up the road to the church they married in is a mystery. I was talking on the phone to someone about 'what I had to do' in order to leave and return to my own time. Nobody could see me, which was just as well, but my being there in March 1975 had nothing to do with my parents wedding, it was just a coincidence that whatever needed fixing happened on the same day. 

Secondly, I lost Jack while I was walking him and ran around the streets crying as I looked for him. There were lots of dogs roaming around which I knew was a bad thing if Jack was loose and eventually a patterdale terrier came trotting down the road to me and growled angrily when I knelt down to make a fuss of him. It was when I noticed that this dog had a full tail, (Jack has been docked at some point in his life before we adopted him, not something I agree with but it has happened and he seems fine). My first thought wasn't that this wasn't the dog that we have grown to love and loves us and has formed a bond that means that he is now part of the family, my first thought was actually that I couldn't take this imposter dog home because Mandi would notice. My final dream was that Eastenders had brought back the character of Pauline Fowler, despite the fact that she died on 2006. To cover up the fact that the actress Wendy Richard wasn't available due to her death in 2009, the BBC used a lookalike who didn't have any dialogue and filmed her from clever angles in the same way a stunt double is used.

This is surely all down to Chinese food so I dread to think what the Chinese dream about.

The Sunday Alternative #46 is available from here.

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July Housekeeping

Bags and T-Shirts are still available from here. All money goes in the fund. Feel free to browse the shop page while you're there.

If you donate £5 or more, you get to choose a song for me to cover on kazoo for a YouTube video, details here.

Seriously, I am grateful for the donations so if you haven't got round to it yet, I thank you in advance.

steveEoliver@gmail.com

@SteveOliver76

Picture from BBC

Obviously today felt like a Monday didn't it? Hello? Is this thing on?

I'll be glad when this week is over so the confusion can cease. I know there's no real confusion, in fact I quite like the fact that there are two four day working weeks lined up together. If I wasn't also a self-employed writer and Jack-of-all-media then I would have probably enjoyed it more because I wouldn't have anything to do apart from eat chocolate and watch James Bond. On the other hand, if I wasn't a writer/broadcaster/journalist/everything else then I wouldn't be inclined to write a daily blog so we'd all be better off. One thing I have noticed is that now I don't see so much of my daughter Emily I get to appreciate Bank Holidays such as Easter; parents miss out on Bank Holidays because they generally happen during school holidays when they are already off school with their children.

Talking of work, the interview I did with Georgie Rose is now on the Nottingham Post website, a shorter version will appear in Friday's newspaper for those who live in Nottingham and surrounding areas. If anyone is able to get to Bodega on Friday 17th then I highly recommend you attend.

I feel as if I am back in the swing of things work wise, at the moment I am putting the finishing touches to Saturday Breakfast and preparing for a meeting on Friday regarding the making of a fully blown grown up documentary film. To be perfectly honest I don't have a great deal to write about in this blog but that isn't going to stop me, it never has before. After the anarchy and violence of Bottom we have moved on to another sitcom boxset with a slightly slower pace. My Easter present to Mandi was the complete Keeping Up Appearances, a show that I didn't watch properly when it was first broadcast. I don't personally understand why she is such a big fan of this programme; together we have watched Spaced, The Mighty Boosh, and Big Train alongside the American sitcoms Friends and Frasier so for Mandi to be so keen on such a traditional show is bizarre. What makes it stranger is that Keeping Up Appearances is such a traditional 'darling I'm home' sitcom (the British equivalent of the American 'Hi honey I'm home') and yet she does not share, in fact she cannot stand, my enjoyment of On The Buses, Bless This House, Terry and June and the like. 

Keeping Up Appearances is cut from the same cloth as the domestic sitcoms of the 1970s and 1980s. It astounds me that such a programme was commissioned in the first place given that it ran between 1990 and 1995, it's as if The Young Ones made no difference. Hyacinth Bucket (sorry Bouquet) is a character out of the sitcom wife template that began with Lucille Ball and carried on through the Whitehall farce style of sitcom in which the husband goes to work in an office and leaves his wife at home to cause the sort of chaos that results in a lot of running in and out of doors and hiding in wardrobes. I've watched a couple of episodes so far and am waiting for the one where the boss comes round for dinner.

This week's edition of The Sunday Alternative can be heard here.

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April housekeeping

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@SteveOliver76

I have never really been bothered with Hallowe’en so I didn’t join in with the festivities last night, choosing instead to work on a script idea I have been knocking around for a while. As regular readers will be aware, I am a big fan of naff 1970s sitcoms and in particular On the Buses. Based on an idea I had a while ago, I have started to throw some ideas around for what will be partly a remake, partly a spoof, and partly a tribute. My office is upstairs so any visiting trick or treat participants could be dealt with by Mandi, who had a bowl of sweets at the ready, and Jack, who barks like crazy thing when someone opens our front gate and goes apeshit when there’s a knock at the door. As it turned out, nobody called so I was able to eat a rather large amount of fizzy Haribo sweets.

Mandi was aboard the time-and-a-half wagon this morning, so I decided to do some more work and try to get caught up (we’re going away next week and although I have put my foot down and said that I will continue with my blog, I will not be doing any proper work). Although I had written a to-do list of things to try and accomplish today, I didn’t quite manage but it didn’t matter because something happened today that caused me elation beyond my wildest dreams – I finished recording the audio book of Whatever Happened to Nathan McKenzie?

There is the slight worry that the audio book could be too long for Bandcamp as I do not know if they have any kind of time/length limit on an album, if this is the case it won’t be the end of the world as I will just have to release the book in more than one part. Due to it being my brother’s novel I have recorded I do not feel it is fair to make it available for free with the option to pay what the customer wants. I will be charging a fee for this particular book so that Jack (my brother, this is nothing to do with my dog) and myself can be rewarded for our hard work; he spent four years writing it and I have recorded an audio version that was six hours long at the last check. My share of the money will however be going into my fund for making other free online projects such as short films and podcasts.

Realising that I was finally at the end of what has been an exhausting project, I decided to kick back and not allow myself any pressure, especially not on a Saturday. After ceremoniously sitting back with my feet up on the desk, cocking my Trilby hat to a jaunty angle and lighting a cigar, I remembered that I neither own a Trilby hat nor do I smoke cigars. I nipped out and had a cigarette on the doorstep instead, hatless but happy.

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As I said in the 'My Perfect Weekend' feature in the paper a few weeks ago, I am a fan of naff situation comedies from the 1970s and 1980s. As cheesy and dubious of content Are You Being Served may seem these days, it does have flashes of brilliance although it is obviously somewhat dated now. As David Baddiel said on stage, at the time, Mrs Slocombe's pussy was meant as a reference to her cat with a slight undercurrent of vagina. Nowadays language has changed sufficiently for 'pussy' to mean vagina with a slight undercurrent of cat.

There's quite a large amount of work in David Croft and his writing partners Jeremy Lloyd and Jimmy Perry, that doesn't sit well with today's televisual sensitivity on the boundaries of taste and acceptability. John Inman's portrayal of Mr Humphreys was seen as offensive and homophobic, at a time when John Inman himself was publicly married to a woman for appearances sake. Similarly, the content of It Ain't Half Hot Mum ensures that mainstream repeats are very thin on the ground, usually reserved for clips shows laughing at how terribly racist and sexist sitcom was in the days of yore.

Allo Allo was inexplicably a massive hit in the 1980s, and with a decade worth of cod accents and hilariously camp Germans lasting from 1982 to 1992, it went on for four years longer than the actual Second World War of its setting. It probably caused just as much suffering too.

The repertory company of Jeffrey Holland, Su Pollard and Paul Shane provided my personal favourite from the pen of David Croft, along with Jimmy Perry. Before Oh, Doctor Beeching, and You Rang M'Lord there was Hi-De-Hi. Set in a fictional holiday camp in the 1950s, Hi-De-Hi ran for eight years and managed to constantly stay on top. These days, writers tend to stick (at least in this country) to a two series rule, but if something can be stretched, then why not keep going. I even used to video and keep Hi-De-Hi and watch them over and over. When I was in my early teens, I toyed with the idea of applying to be a Butlins Redcoat, imagining it to be exactly the working life of the Maplins Yellow Coats. I soon got over this phase when I realised that life did not imitate art on this occasion, and that being a Redcoat wasn't too different from being in the army, or prison.

So far, this blog may seem a rather critical and negative thing to write on the day of David Croft's death. Watching old sitcoms retrospectively can be quite uncomfortable, given that certain areas were acceptable once such as mockery of ethnicity or portraying women as either sexy 'crumpet' or battle axe mothers-in-law. It is still funny to watch, if only to squirm at the off-colour (no pun intended) lines. I've previously mentioned my enjoyment of On The Buses for example, a comedy based on the suspension of belief that Reg Varney and Bob Grant were sexually attractive to women in their twenties.

As David Croft's comedy was based on nostalgia, it cannot really be seen as dated, (dubious 1970s content excepting) as it presents itself as a period piece. Hi-De-Hi in the 1950s, You Rang M'Lord in the 1920s, both come across as fairly historically accurate, (due to the whole of Croft's canon being based on some aspect of life or family experience), so doesn't carry the big collar and flares retro silliness that dates a programme, (with the exception of Are You Being Served of course). Which brings me to what in my opinion is the best of David Croft's work: Dad's Army.

Set during the Second World War, and like Allo Allo going on for longer than the actual event, this is a work of genius that is regularly repeated on the BBC rather than being unfairly shunted away on GOLD or Watch. The episodes have the ability to reveal something new to the viewer on every occasion. Arthur Lowe and John Le Mesurier were the perfect foils for each other as the pompous social climbing wannabe and the upper class, well connected gentleman who isn't allowed to forget who outranks him. With only a small handful of cast members still with us, the chances of a reunion special aren't too clever, but I'm sure the convention circuit provides a small income.

David Croft is one of the last of the great situation comedy writers, a dying breed who's influence is still seen today. Okay so the "Don't tell him Pike" bit has fallen into a hackneyed, overplayed clip show sketch, along with Del Boy falling through the bar and Basil Fawlty hitting his car with a branch, but Dad's Army is one of history's greatest comedies and for that we can forgive the crass lack of subtlety in other works.

My Perfect Weekend (uncut)

I was featured in today's edition of EG, which is the Friday listings pull out from The Nottingham Post. This was essentially a plug for the radio show dressed up in a regular feature called 'My Perfect Weekend', in which people far more well known than myself plug their wares dressed up as a description of, you get the idea.

This is the unedited version, with footnotes. Anything in yellow type was edited out from my submitted piece.

My Perfect Weekend

I was born in Nottingham, although my family moved around a lot during my childhood. After living in Teesside, Norfolk, Lincolnshire, Essex and London, I moved back to Nottingham as an adult and I think I am settled. Home now is a little Victorian house in Basford that I share with the love of my life Amanda, two cats, and my twelve year old daughter Emily, who lives here part time.

On Friday teatime I meet Amanda from work and go for a drink or two in order to declare the weekend open, otherwise, I'll be travelling to Middlesbrough to collect my daughter. I try to get to as many gigs as possible, music and stand up comedy, but when my daughter is here I do enjoy spending Saturday night watching Doctor Who and X-Factor with a takeaway. Sunday means going to my dad's for a family lunch, with perhaps the cinema afterwards. Afternoon tea in Lee Rosy with the Sunday papers is another enjoyable pursuit. Sunday night tends to be a good comedy night, and the new Just The Tonic (in the Cornerhouse*) is perhaps the best place to see decent stand up.

People of** Nottingham are the luckiest in the UK, as there is so much (for us***) to do; it annoys me when people don't venture into town. Move somewhere less vibrant! During the summer holidays, my daughter and I had a tour of the Council House. We also like to play pitch and putt.

TV wise, I enjoy watching the range of documentary on BBC4;**** if this channel goes, it will be a crime against culture. If the public make the same fuss that we made about 6Music, then there shouldn't be a problem. Amanda and I recently worked through a five series box set of CSI:NY, which hooked me in despite it not being my usual thing. Rubbish sitcoms from the 1970s are a guilty pleasure, as it is always possible to see an episode of Terry and June or On The Buses***** if you look.

We don't get to the cinema as much as we'd like, but I will say that I prefer Broadway to the big chain place******, and I'm pleased to see that Screen Room is reopening.

My favourite meals tend to be home cooking and Amanda and I share duties there, although she does more. Eating out (wise, it*******) tends to be pubs such as Fellows Morten And Clayton********, or The Bell. I am also a fan of The Curry Lounge. If I want a takeaway, it will be a curry, accompanied by cans of Guinness, the Saturday night treat.

I'm not a fitness fanatic, but I do cycle a lot so I think I'm alright on that score.

Autobiographies are my main read, I'm currently reading Stewart Lee's book and have already put Danny Baker's forthcoming book on my Christmas list. Aside from that, I enjoy the Sherlock Holmes books, and Charles Dickens.

At home, I spend a lot of time listening to new music for my (plug) show; I am still sent stuff by people who don't know I have been off air and between stations for three months. I enjoy hearing something new, and Nottingham should be proud of its music scene now. My tastes veer all over the road, punk, ska, rockabilly, rock and roll, I even like music hall songs that were once considered racy but make little sense now. On my show, I might play two or three songs you have heard of, but hope that the listeners notice something they haven't heard.# My radio hero is John Peel, and I model the ethos of the show on his Radio 1 shows, while at the same time aware that I am not fit to lace his Doc Martins. At the weekend, I listen to Danny Baker, and Tony Blackburn's Pick Of The Pops.%

[As far as gigs go, I much prefer seeing a band playing upstairs in a pub to ten people than a megastar at the arena. I think this goes back to my love of finding something new]. As for Nottingham bands, Barnum Meserve, Sapphire Lane, Yunioshi and Dick Venom And The Terrortones are (the Nottingham+) bands that I have had on my show before they are too big to bother. Captain Dangerous, who I have become quite matey with, were the first band that entered my radar when I moved back home, as they opened the new look Market Square. I always missed just missed out on them coming on my show, so they are on my wish list.

{Even though the show is on a local station, as it's online I treat it as an international show}.

My perfect weekend then, (would include##) lazy breakfasts, long lunch, pitch and putt, curry, film and a gig. Then worry about the first song I'm going to play on my radio show (plug).

Footnotes

*The words 'in the Cornerhouse' were added. Presumably as a guide for readers wishing to find said venue.
**Changed to 'people in Nottingham'
***The words 'for us' were added.
****My use of a semi-colon was replaced with a full stop.
*****This is true, I have watched On The Buses first thing in the morning, and late at night. Now we all have several thousand channels to choose from, there is a wider choice of fuck all to watch. I wrote about watching On The Buses here.
******Changed to 'places'.
*******The words in brackets were removed.
********The chef of this place, a guy called Tony, is a very talented chef. He is also a fucking cunt. I didn't write this line as I had an inkling that it would be edited out.

#Started using other symbols now.
%The following paragraph appeared, which was what was written on my original press release for the show:

I was presenting a show on Sherwood Radio but I've a new one starting on Sunday on the new Trend Sound station.

After the line about John Peel's Doc Martins (good name for a band), the following appeared, again this wasn't from the article but from the press release:

I play an eclectic mix of unsigned bands, alternative classics, indie, punk, ska, rockabilly and reggae, with a smattering of comedy sketches and live sessions. There'll be guest co-presenters from the worlds of music and comedy as well.

It is handy that the above appeared really, to give the readers of EG an idea of what I'm about.

+Words in brackets were added.

$That whole bit became And I'm quite matey with Captain Dangerous.

{} This line came from my press release.

##Words in brackets were added.

The yellow paragraph covered by the [ ] symbols were added to the end of the article.