Commercial radio is largely a joke these days thanks to the homogenisation of local radio stations into a dreary 'the same six songs, all day long' identikit brand that has nothing to do with the local area. These days we are spoilt for choice by streaming and by the convenience of podcasts yet for some reason, radio is still a massive deal. The BBC regional stations still provide a good service when it comes to news, sport and current affairs but falls short when it comes to documentaries these days, and it is a good thing that each region has a BBC Introducing strand to help nurture local music. Apart from this rather weak choice, terrestrial radio is in a poor state and recently it became poorer. 

Radio 2, once the station your grandparents favoured, fought against its reputation and successfully replaced the slippers for Converse during the early 2000s and employed DJs that reflected the station as the place to go if you were too old for Radio 1, but too young for the knackers yard. It became an eclectic station with specialist shows that catered (off peak of course but that has always been the way) for all tastes. Radio 2 had a little sibling born in 2002 when BBC 6 Music came along, which although offering a slightly edgier alternative, has in recent years fallen into the playlist and automated trap (it's a brilliant series but how many times are they going to repeat Alan Freeman's History of Pop?) apart from Sunday which has shows from Cerys Matthews and Jarvis Cocker among others going off-road. Obviously they missed out on having The Sunday Alternative despite it being tailor made for the station but never mind.

Our habits have changed in recent years when it comes to how we consume television and radio in a way that video recorders and home taping didn't manage, our ability to watch or listen online. Many is the time that we have watched EastEnders on the laptop when we have missed it, remember when we had to wait until Sunday afternoon to watch the omnibus? I personally listen to podcasts more and more, as do a lot of people as they are there for you when you need them. Internet radio stations are on the rise of course, although a few of them don't make it (it's a pity that Trent Sound didn't last as that genuinely was a proper local radio station for the area) which is a shame as they cater for a far broader audience than terrestrial. However, for some strange reason FM radio is still seen as important. Surely nobody makes an effort to sit down and listen to it these days? Mainstream radio is mere background noise while you're pottering around the house, in the car or working and don't need to concentrate too hard on what you're listening to. The exception (to me) was when Danny Baker did a daily show on BBC Radio London which was such compulsive listening and such a masterclass in how to present a radio show that it was taken off the air. Danny Baker's on-air comments towards the management made for a legendary two hours of radio that prompted comments about why axed presenters aren't usually allowed to present their last show. This was typical of the BBC attitude to quality radio. Mark Lamarr quit Radio 2 in 2010 due to the lack of support from the station and in doing so he took away one of the last truly great radio shows.

Of course there are still some fine presenters at Radio 2 but for how long? I suppose daytime is safe, Chris Evans is a radio natural and the daytime line up of Ken Bruce, Jeremy Vine and Steve Wright is a popular one. Daytime radio doesn't challenge though so the truth is that anybody could do what these four men are doing. The way that Radio 2 seems determined to destroy itself is by taking away those presenters who drift away from the mainstream. Recently Janice Long (a music lover from the Peel school) and Alex Lester were taken off the overnight slot, and Brian Matthews has been relieved of Sounds of the Sixties, one of the most fascinating shows running, due to his prolonged absence for health reasons. Dermot O'Leary's show on a Saturday afternoon was like a gateway into the world of 6 Music without getting too cool, but was a credible radio show that hosted live sessions and showcased 'proper' music, and now it has gone. Jo Wiley has taken over and while she is a good broadcaster with a knowledge of music, she is too serious for Saturday afternoons and belongs in the night shift with the proper presenters. Dermot's appeal was his cheery manner which made him a good choice for the slot, a training he has had from his other life as a light entertainment television presenter.

It is worrying to see what Radio 2 is doing to itself, the way things are going it won't be long before they fuck it up completely by giving Nemone a job.

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 This week's edition of The Sunday Alternative is here. 

The first edition of The Random Sessions Podcast is available here.

Thank you in advance for donating using the PayPal button at the top of this page. It all goes towards creating podcasts, sketches, documentaries, films and more, all of which I will make available for free in return for your generosity.

I have long been an admirer of Danny Baker, admittedly he has (by his own admission) done some pretty low-rent television shows over the years yet he retains his credibility. He is one of the best radio presenters this country has, yet he is woefully underused by the medium, having been booted off his afternoon show on BBC London and reduced to the Saturday morning shift on Five Live. I say 'reduced', it is a weekly masterclass in how to do radio. On the subject of masterclass, he also re-wrote the rules on how to behave on your last day at work in a legendary broadcast in 2012.

As a storyteller he is up there with Kenneth Williams or Peter Ustinov and would have been a wonderful asset to the old LWT An Audience With... format, you can hear his voice in your head when reading his two volumes of memoir and can picture him not changing his delivery whether on stage or down the pub. A running theme in his anecdotal outpourings is money, or rather lack of it. As soon as he carries out a job of work, be it a documentary or a voice over, he apparently spends the money on making sure he and his family enjoy themselves. This is on the surface a perfect philosophy; make it, spend it, make some more. What could possibly go wrong? There aren't many people who have this confidence in the ability to throw caution to the wind with regards the bills landing on the doormat when there's a party to be held. 

When Danny Baker was diagnosed with cancer in 2010 he borrowed a large sum of money from Chris Evans to tide him over, which he mentioned on Desert Island Discs with the postscript that he had paid it back. He's probably made a dent in the bunce he received for his two books and the adaptation Cradle to Grave and three hours of radio isn't going to keep the wolf from the door. I suppose that the promise of a good payday was the incentive for lowering himself (as much as the presenter of Pets Win Prizes can lower himself) by agreeing to appear as a contestant on I'm A Celebrity. I didn't even know that this was still going and while I won't be swayed by Baker enough to start watching, I am sure there will be the odd clip circulated on social media to see how he is getting on. I'm sure he will be popular with the fellow contestants but I can't see a mainstream ITV audience even knowing who he is. 

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 This week's edition of The Sunday Alternative is here. 

Thank you in advance for donating using the PayPal button at the top of this page. It all goes towards creating podcasts, sketches, documentaries, films and more, all of which I will make available for free in return for your generosity.

Picture from Mirror

It is very easy to dislike Peter Kay for his exploitation of fans by releasing three seperate DVDs of the same act word for word, or for his arrogance on chat shows and especially for his sarcastic 'don't get up' acceptance speech when he was inexplicably given the Outstanding Contribution to Comedy prize at the 2009 British Comedy Awards. However I do begrudgingly admit that Kay's talent as a writer who manages to capture real life is remarkable; That Peter Kay Thing contained characters that we all seemed to know, portraying the North West mannerisms in a way not seen since Victoria Wood's television heyday. The crowning glory was Phoenix Nights, especially as I have worked in Northern Working Man Clubs and could pick out every single character and give them a real life name. As a huge admirer of Danny Baker I was looking forward to his autobiographies being turned into a television series, but my heart sank when I read Peter Kay's name being bandied about to play Fred 'Spud' Baker, the undisputed star of the books.

A lot of the time an adaptation has little resemblance to the book as the author has no input once the contract has been signed, but in this case Danny Baker co-wrote the series and has been on set as an advisor so what you see on screen is genuine. Of course a sitcom adaptation is going to be hard to pull off, especially given that the main character is a South London wheeler-dealer which brings with it the burden of comparisons with Only Fools and Horses, yet this works, even with Peter Kay's involvement. In fact, although the cock-er-nee accent wavers from time to time, you soon forget that it is Kay playing the part. If you've read the books then you know that the series isn't exactly going along in chronological order, rather they have pulled out the funniest stories and worked with them making it less a biopic and more a series of recollections from a master storyteller. 

In the publicity for Cradle to Grave Danny Baker has defended his choice of Peter Kay in the role by focussing on his talent as an actor rather than a comedian, mentioning Ronnie Barker in the same breath which might seem a bit grand until you see him in action. There are currently two books of Baker's life with another one on the way so this series should hopefully run and run. Best of all, there isn't a single mention of garlic bread.

The Sunday Alternative #54 is available from here.

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September housekeeping

Please consider making a donation using the PayPal button to help finance ongoing projects such as podcasts, short films, documentaries, comedy sketches and other entertainment that I will make available online free of charge.

Any money made by the sale of products on my shop page also goes into the fund, ideal Christmas presents!

steveEoliver@gmail.com

@SteveOliver76

Picture from Mental Floss

I am old enough to remember when MTV was a television channel that showed music videos, the 'M' in MTV would you believe is for 'music', so the full name was 'Music Television'. People my age and older will know this and maybe share my memory, but today's MTV audience who think the channel might always have been about reality shows and vacuous nonsense that even ITV2 and BBC3 between them would refuse to consider would be unaware of this. Not only do I remember this, I remember lots of things that today's youngsters will possibly only know through Buzzfeed lists; queuing up to use a phonebox, dial-up Internet cutting off as soon as the phone rang, MySpace being the best social networking site, BBC1 closing down at night after the weather and a blast of the National Anthem, penny sweets, long summers, snow at Christmas, taking glass bottles back to the shop for a refund, orange juice being a starter in restaurant,  making the effort to walk to a shop to rent a film on VHS, schools having one computer to share, and hotels having a television room. I could do a Peter Kay routine apart from it wouldn't be funny, actually it would be just like a Peter Kay routine in that case. 

Aside from all these nostalgic memories, I can vaguely recollect a time when the NME was a relevant periodical that dealt with the kind of music that wasn't covered by the likes of Smash Hits or seen on mainstream television. The New Musical Express has existed as a music magazine since 1952 and was the only magazine to give extensive coverage popular music. I personally always wanted to work there during the punk era where I would have been able to hang around with the likes of Danny Baker, Charles Shaar Murray, Johnny Cigarettes, Tony Parsons and others. My interest was further prodded as I made the transition from comics to grown up reading and realised that the NME shared a building with Whizzer and Chips, Buster, and various comics that were a lot cooler than The Beano and The Dandy. Kings Reach Tower is such an iconic address that I made a pilgrimage there in 2012 and made no difference whatsoever. 

It always looked from the outside looking in that the NME was more fun to work at than to read, as most of the writers apparently spent most of their time trying to impress each other by slipping in clever references. It has lost readers consistently for a long time and has now decided to become a free sheet, putting a once great publication in the same boat as Metro. Personally I prefer to read physical newspapers and magazines, especially as websites (and the NME is guilty of this as is my local paper) are impossible to read because of all the pop-up adverts that get in the way. Last time I was in London I was surprised to see that Time Out and the Evening Standard were free nowadays. The difference being that a newspaper and a guide to what's happening in London are well placed by tube stations, but the NME needs to be able to reach further afield. NME served a purpose in aiding the cool kids in rural areas by telling them about The Smiths or Wedding Present because they couldn't get this information elsewhere, (it was one of the few places that had information about Kurt Cobain's death in the pre-Internet days, even if you had to wait for it). If the village newsagent didn't stock it then at least it could be ordered, something that won't happen now because they will be piled up in cities and somewhere with a minimal demand won't be served at all. 

Making the paper free is a last ditch attempt to salvage something that perhaps doesn't really need salvaging anyway, especially if they are going to expand their interests into film, computer games, television and fashion making it look like every other magazine available. NME Radio kicked the bucket not long after an all singing all dancing launch, the TV channel is no more,  and the website as I have already said is a pile of shit. It is my opinion that keeping NME going as a free sheet is as cruel as keeping someone on a life support machine even if they have no quality of life. The days of working for a cool music magazine and being offered gifts of varying degrees of legality just to put a band's picture on the cover are over, as are the days when anyone gave a flying fuck about what the NME had to say about music. The magazine goes free in September, I will give it until Christmas.

The Sunday Alternative #46 is available from here.

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July Housekeeping

Bags and T-Shirts are still available from here. All money goes in the fund. Feel free to browse the shop page while you're there.

If you donate £5 or more, you get to choose a song for me to cover on kazoo for a YouTube video, details here.

Seriously, I am grateful for the donations so if you haven't got round to it yet, I thank you in advance.

steveEoliver@gmail.com

@SteveOliver76

Picture from The Independent

The television coverage of this year's Glastonbury Festival has got off to a piss poor start with BBC3 hardly bothering and BBC2 giving us arbitrary highlights. Red button coverage basically just gave me the option to select either BBC2 or BBC3, bloody hell. I watched a lot of episodes of Family Guy and American Dad, the only real reason why BBC3 is worth keeping. When it comes to television presentation, the BBC have a weird idea of suitability and still insist on employing inappropriate people from the world of children's television. Lauren Laverne of course is suitable of course, as are Mark Radcliffe and Jo Wiley, but this is when we realise we miss John Peel (not that we needed reminding) and Mark Lamarr (whatever happened to him?). I know it isn't an 'indie' festival or something specific for BBC 6 Music listeners, but I think that the television coverage needs people who are known for taking music seriously. Incidentally, I have offered my services for the last few years but they have obviously not taken me up on this, perhaps they just want to eventually do away with music savvy people; Danny Baker got shown the door and Mark Lamarr quit his Radio 2 show because of the station's lack of interest in non-mainstream music. John Peel was shifted from pillar to post until he eventually just had a couple of hours a week to educate the true music lover. 

Although I channel surfed between sets by Hot Chip, Super Furry Animals, and out of a morbid curiosity I even watched a bit of Florence and the Machine. Only a bit.

BBC4 showed a film about Motorhead which I watched and this coincided with one of the channels showing their afternoon set. Lemmy is nearly 70 and could teach a lot of today's rock starts how to do it, and I am always interested in the audience when they have the older acts on. There was a good cross section of ages as there always seems to be and they weren't just there to sneer they were genuinely into it. The biggest relief of the night of course was that Florence Machine didn't join them on stage for a duet of 'You Got The Love', isn't that what Glastonbury is all about?

The Sunday Alternative Podcast #43 (Saturday edition) is available from here.

The Sunday Alternative Podcast #44 is available from here.

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June housekeeping

The audio book of Bowie Day (a short story inspired by A Christmas Carol) will be released on August 31st. In the meantime the book can be downloaded to your Kindle from here.

All donations made using the PayPal button will go towards making podcasts, comedy sketches, live video sessions, documentaries, short films and more that will be made available online for free.

The Sunday Alternative bag and t-shirt (and other products) can be purchased from my shop page. All money raised will go into the fund to create free content.

steveEoliver@gmail.com

@SteveOliver76

Picture from Radio Times

In this age of on demand television in which we can watch last night's soap opera on a mobile phone on the way to work, the concept of 'event television' doesn't happen as often as it once did. The British public ran out and bought their first television set to see the Coronation and pubs used to delay the evening opening times when Hancock's Half Hour was on because nobody left the house until it had finished, apparently. Funnily enough, the introduction of home video recording didn't do as much damage to communal viewing as was expected yet on demand has totally changed our habits. American television executives refer to it as the 'water cooler moment', the next day at work you stand around the water cooler talking about last night's telly. I suppose a more modern way to describe it would be the expression used by Chris Evans last night to describe Liam Gallagher singing 'My Generation' with Roger Daltrey; a YouTube moment. TFI Friday certainly had its fair share of YouTube moments despite the fact that when it was last on the air there wasn't YouTube, or Facebook, or Twitter, in fact the Internet in 1996 (when TFI launched) was to the vast majority of people a mystery thing that had something to do with computers. Way back in those dark days, there was one show that defined the concept of event television and TFI Friday was it. Pat Sharp might have declared that Funhouse heralded the start of the weekend but he was wrong. In fact TFI was so ingrained in our conciousness as the true start to the weekend that it used to be shown in pubs at six o'clock to get everyone in the mood for that first glorious payday drink, (assuming you were paid weekly which a lot of people, myself included, still were back then). In fact it put us in the Friday night mood so much that it was repeated again at kicking out time for those not into discotheques but full of Friday night good spirit. No television show since then has had that power and it would be hard to recreate that excitement nowadays, not unless you brought back TFI Friday for a one-off special and reunited the dream television team of Chris Evans (presenter), Danny Baker (writer), Will McDonald (producer) and Suzi Alpin (director) to do it. 

Last night after weeks of hype Channel Four screened a live anniversary edition of the classic show and the country stood still, apart from fingers because they were busy on phones and keyboards on social media. This could have gone one of two ways of course but with meticulous planning the whole show was a delightful nostalgia trip and proof once more of what a master of television Chris Evans was. He is wasted on The One Show, as good as he is on there, and should be allowed to create. When left to his own devices Chris Evans has come up with some classic television moments right from The Big Breakfast, which even managed to tempt me away from listening to the radio in the morning. As local radio was just that, local, in the early 1990s, I have sadly never heard the legendary shows he made for GLR but I did hear him when he did a Sunday afternoon show on Radio 1 when nobody outside London knew who he was and he stood out even then. Don't Forget Your Toothbrush reinvented the game show and its influence can be seen today in Ant & Dec's Saturday Night Takeaway and older shows such as Last Chance Lottery. After TFI Chris Evans, by his own admission, went a little crazy and abandoned his radio show in favour of travelling the world with Billie Piper. 

Behind the camera he didn't have quite the success that he was used to; The Terry and Gaby Show was a good programme but pitched against This Morning it didn't do well in the ratings and shows such as Boys and Girls and Live With Chris Moyles didn't perform at all. It was thanks to UK Radio Aid's all day broadcast on commercial radio that Evans was able to show that he still had what it took, this was followed by presenting the Brits and although OFI Sunday didn't recreate past glory it got his profile back up. A late night slot on the 2005 Red Nose Day telethon (with Will McDonald) proved once and for all that as a live television presenter he was still very much at the top of his game. Rehabilitated with BBC Radio he is now the host of the breakfast show on Radio 2, increasing listening figures since taking over from Terry Wogan and presents The One Show.

As I have already said, TFI Friday could have been a disaster. However, from the start it was a masterpiece of television and picked up exactly where it left off. Revisiting old features and mixing new bands with old; Blur and Liam Gallagher representing the glory days of the show and a new segment of ten second interviews could have been lifted from the original run. My only criticism is that it became something of an audition piece for Top Gear towards the end but by the time the show was overrunning we the viewer could have watched all night. I don't think it should come back permanently though, rather than dilute the magic it would work better as an occasional treat, Christmas special maybe? 

The Sunday Alternative will return soon.

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June housekeeping

The audio book of Bowie Day (a short story inspired by A Christmas Carol) will be released on August 31st. In the meantime the book can be downloaded to your Kindle from here.

All donations made using the PayPal button will go towards making podcasts, comedy sketches, live video sessions, documentaries, short films and more that will be made available online for free.

The Sunday Alternative bag and t-shirt (and other products) can be purchased from my shop page. All money raised will go into the fund to create free content.

steveEoliver@gmail.com

@SteveOliver76

Apart from a large amount of music for review or podcast play I don't tend to get many perks besides guest list places for gigs. The days are long gone when record companies and PR firms would fly you round the world getting you drunk and sticking Ferrari keys through your letterbox, and the Internet has almost killed the press-pack containing t-shirts and other such treasure (apart from Dick Venom and The Terrortones who are the kings of the press-pack in Nottingham). I can't even remember the last time I received a band t-shirt or badge. Last year the postman delivered David Nolan's book about Jake Bugg as interview research and for review I was sent Danny Baker's and The Chuckle Brothers autobiography, but apart from that the gifts have been very slim on the ground. The last time I had a gift was the Sunday delivery to my front door of a freshly cooked pork pie from a local butcher when Erik Petersen and I went through a phase of discussing them on The Sunday Alternative.

To be perfectly honest I don't worry too much about it (apart from the band t-shirts, where are they?) so it is nice when you get some incentive to carry on what you're doing. On the other hand it might cloud my judgement and stop the freebies coming full stop. Take my writings about breakfasts in cafes for example; I have never been recognised in a cafe for writing about them, despite the looks I sometimes get for taking my pad and pen out of my pocket and making notes.If I was given a free breakfast as an incentive then I would feel obliged to write nice things about them in return which would mean that I sacrificed the one thing that my writing is based on - honesty. However, maybe it would be nice if I was offered a free meal on a return visit. I don't do it for such tacky rewards though, I am a consumer champion.

One of the main focuses of my consumer championing is the world of crisps, technically they are snacks rather than crisps but you know what I mean. I often tweet a photograph of the freshly finished packet of snacks with a 140 character opinion. Rather than report on the obvious brands I try and find some lesser known items, usually produced by KP, Golden Wonder, and Bobby's. These are found in small Londis shops and are certainly not mainstream names. I refuse to buy or review Walker's as I (along with every other person who spent their childhood in the 1980s) object to their lack of conformity when it comes to colour coding; it is green for cheese and onion, not a difficult thing to understand you would think. Today I received a direct message on Twitter from a crisp/snack company asking for my address for some samples. Although I won't let this influence writing about what I think of these snacks, I had to sit down and smoke a John Player Special (blue, king size - will have superkings if that's all there is) cigarette and make a cup of PG Tips tea, quite possibly the best tea on the market, while I tried to imagine a Rolls Royce parked outside the house.

Related reading here.

No podcast this week.

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May housekeeping 

Please consider making either a one-off or regular donation using the PayPal button above this blog. Every penny will be used to fund creative projects that will be made available for free.

The Sunday Alternative is a free weekly podcast. I am aiming to start making this podcast in a studio with live bands in session. This will cost at least £50 per episode so please give whatever you can.

52 podcasts and 365 blogs a year must be worth something to you?

The Sunday Alternative bag is on sale now. All you need to do is click on the PayPal button and donate £6 (or more if you're feeling generous), then email me at the address below with 'BAG' in the subject line and your name and address in the email.

(All money from the bags goes into the fund to create free online entertainment)

steveEoliver@gmail.com

@SteveOliver76 

I have just returned from Bulwell where I was a guest co-presenter on the radio show Castle Rock on Trent Sound. Lee Beaumont invited me on a while ago and having worked with him before I was keen to get behind the microphone for the first time since I left Trent Sound earlier this year. Since the end of NottinghamLIVE and The Sunday Alternative I haven’t actually worked in radio for most of the year, having also brought The Sound of Nottingham UK to an end on June 1^st. although the podcast is doing better than I could have imagined and I have expansion plans for the name, the buzz of presenting a live show is like the most addictive drug you can think of. I often found that being live on air was a wonderful help with my depression, and presented some of my best shows when I had travelled to the studio wishing I was dead. Live radio is something I really miss and have been looking for a way back in. as great as the new Trent Sound studio is, it isn’t big enough to accommodate live music performances, which was behind the decisions to end the two shows I was doing for the station.

To begin with I was a little nervous and didn’t really give a lot for the first half hour, but once I had warmed up it was as if I had never stopped. The three hours flew by and I had a brilliant time. Lee is a great host and we have a good comedy chemistry, (his show isn’t a serious one and conversation can flow quite well), resulting in a show that was hopefully as much fun to listen to as it was to present. Some of the best ‘lighter’ radio presenters have the ability to make a conversation between themselves entertaining to listen to; Mark Radcliffe and Stuart Maconie on BBC 6Music are a good example, as was Danny Baker’s afternoon show on BBC London. Topics tonight snowballed from the death of Raphael Ravenscroft, the saxophone player on the song ‘Baker Street’, to the fact that it wasn’t Bob Holness who played on the song but it is true that Holness was the first James Bond. This was my chance to pull out two of my bank of unlikely but true facts; the first person to use a cash point machine in the UK was Reg Varney from On The Buses (from Barclays Bank in Enfield on June 27^th 1967), and Ernie Wise made the first ever call from a mobile phone (on New Year’s Day 1985). By the end of the show I was a little bit frightened by the amount of factual knowledge I have in my head about On The Buses, even managing to link with another subject of ‘the first person to…’; Reg Cox was the first person to be seen on screen on Eastenders, one of the people who discovered his body was Arthur Fowler, the part of Arthur Fowler was originally offered to Reg Varney. This could be how I get to appear on Mastermind.

While I type this there are four cheeseburgers cooking in the oven for my tea, and adrenalin is pumping through me once again. The live radio bug is back with me now, and I am determined to get back on air. Mandi warned/advised me not to take on too much work as she knows how stressed I get, but a live microphone beats any prescribed medication hands down.

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Listen to The Sunday Alternative here

All donations received via the PayPal button above will be used to fund creative projects such as podcasts, short films, documentaries, comedy sketches and a whole lot more. You are under no obligation of course, but thanks in advance if you do drop something in the pot.

I know I’m fickle but I have changed my mind once again and IMHO will deal not only with new music (albums, EPs, singles) but also with books and possibly gigs too, definitely the first unedited drafts of newspaper reviews. This puts a bit of pressure on the daily blog so I will have to start living a more interesting day-to-day life. Today I received an email to let me know that an advance copy of the next volume of Danny Baker’s autobiography is in the post which I’m looking forward to reading and I have a review of The Chuckle Brothers book to publish too. One book I am keen to read and might review is Great Myths of the Brain by Christian Jarrett PHD, a book that investigates matters of depression and anxiety. I have asked for a copy of it on this occasion because aside from it being a subject I should read more about, I am quoted in it. I found out about this by accident as I was trying to find an online version of the article about depression I wrote for The Nottingham Evening Post (as I still call it) to send to someone, and rather than try and navigate my way around the Post’s messy website with its pop-up adverts and random noise I just Googled ‘Steve Oliver depression’ (possible band name) and found several references to the article including a link to this book. It wasn’t because I was randomly Googling myself because I don’t do that, honestly.

My work schedule is still piling up and the pressure is increasing all the time. I have taken Friday and Monday as ‘holiday’ from Crown Court in order to catch up with audio book recording and finishing off The Shoebox Collection. I’m hoping that I can power through my list with minimum amount of fuss. My tasks are to finish recording Nathan McKenzie, Bowie Day and the Dickens Christmas audio books, write two episodes and record all four Shoebox podcasts, record this week’s Sunday Alternative, write and publish two reviews, publish a book review, make some changes to my blog site, and blast my way through a ridiculously full email inbox. Already Mandi has organised a delivery for Friday and someone to come and collect one of our televisions “as you’ll be in”. Next time I book time off to work from home I am not going to tell her about it, she leaves the house before I do so she need never know.

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My daily blog can be delivered straight to your Kindle for 99p a month (link)

Listen to The Sunday Alternative here

All donations received via the PayPal button above will be used to fund creative projects such as podcasts, short films, documentaries, comedy sketches and a whole lot more. You are under no obligation of course, but thanks in advance if you do drop something in the pot.

My Perfect Weekend (uncut)

I was featured in today's edition of EG, which is the Friday listings pull out from The Nottingham Post. This was essentially a plug for the radio show dressed up in a regular feature called 'My Perfect Weekend', in which people far more well known than myself plug their wares dressed up as a description of, you get the idea.

This is the unedited version, with footnotes. Anything in yellow type was edited out from my submitted piece.

My Perfect Weekend

I was born in Nottingham, although my family moved around a lot during my childhood. After living in Teesside, Norfolk, Lincolnshire, Essex and London, I moved back to Nottingham as an adult and I think I am settled. Home now is a little Victorian house in Basford that I share with the love of my life Amanda, two cats, and my twelve year old daughter Emily, who lives here part time.

On Friday teatime I meet Amanda from work and go for a drink or two in order to declare the weekend open, otherwise, I'll be travelling to Middlesbrough to collect my daughter. I try to get to as many gigs as possible, music and stand up comedy, but when my daughter is here I do enjoy spending Saturday night watching Doctor Who and X-Factor with a takeaway. Sunday means going to my dad's for a family lunch, with perhaps the cinema afterwards. Afternoon tea in Lee Rosy with the Sunday papers is another enjoyable pursuit. Sunday night tends to be a good comedy night, and the new Just The Tonic (in the Cornerhouse*) is perhaps the best place to see decent stand up.

People of** Nottingham are the luckiest in the UK, as there is so much (for us***) to do; it annoys me when people don't venture into town. Move somewhere less vibrant! During the summer holidays, my daughter and I had a tour of the Council House. We also like to play pitch and putt.

TV wise, I enjoy watching the range of documentary on BBC4;**** if this channel goes, it will be a crime against culture. If the public make the same fuss that we made about 6Music, then there shouldn't be a problem. Amanda and I recently worked through a five series box set of CSI:NY, which hooked me in despite it not being my usual thing. Rubbish sitcoms from the 1970s are a guilty pleasure, as it is always possible to see an episode of Terry and June or On The Buses***** if you look.

We don't get to the cinema as much as we'd like, but I will say that I prefer Broadway to the big chain place******, and I'm pleased to see that Screen Room is reopening.

My favourite meals tend to be home cooking and Amanda and I share duties there, although she does more. Eating out (wise, it*******) tends to be pubs such as Fellows Morten And Clayton********, or The Bell. I am also a fan of The Curry Lounge. If I want a takeaway, it will be a curry, accompanied by cans of Guinness, the Saturday night treat.

I'm not a fitness fanatic, but I do cycle a lot so I think I'm alright on that score.

Autobiographies are my main read, I'm currently reading Stewart Lee's book and have already put Danny Baker's forthcoming book on my Christmas list. Aside from that, I enjoy the Sherlock Holmes books, and Charles Dickens.

At home, I spend a lot of time listening to new music for my (plug) show; I am still sent stuff by people who don't know I have been off air and between stations for three months. I enjoy hearing something new, and Nottingham should be proud of its music scene now. My tastes veer all over the road, punk, ska, rockabilly, rock and roll, I even like music hall songs that were once considered racy but make little sense now. On my show, I might play two or three songs you have heard of, but hope that the listeners notice something they haven't heard.# My radio hero is John Peel, and I model the ethos of the show on his Radio 1 shows, while at the same time aware that I am not fit to lace his Doc Martins. At the weekend, I listen to Danny Baker, and Tony Blackburn's Pick Of The Pops.%

[As far as gigs go, I much prefer seeing a band playing upstairs in a pub to ten people than a megastar at the arena. I think this goes back to my love of finding something new]. As for Nottingham bands, Barnum Meserve, Sapphire Lane, Yunioshi and Dick Venom And The Terrortones are (the Nottingham+) bands that I have had on my show before they are too big to bother. Captain Dangerous, who I have become quite matey with, were the first band that entered my radar when I moved back home, as they opened the new look Market Square. I always missed just missed out on them coming on my show, so they are on my wish list.

{Even though the show is on a local station, as it's online I treat it as an international show}.

My perfect weekend then, (would include##) lazy breakfasts, long lunch, pitch and putt, curry, film and a gig. Then worry about the first song I'm going to play on my radio show (plug).

Footnotes

*The words 'in the Cornerhouse' were added. Presumably as a guide for readers wishing to find said venue.
**Changed to 'people in Nottingham'
***The words 'for us' were added.
****My use of a semi-colon was replaced with a full stop.
*****This is true, I have watched On The Buses first thing in the morning, and late at night. Now we all have several thousand channels to choose from, there is a wider choice of fuck all to watch. I wrote about watching On The Buses here.
******Changed to 'places'.
*******The words in brackets were removed.
********The chef of this place, a guy called Tony, is a very talented chef. He is also a fucking cunt. I didn't write this line as I had an inkling that it would be edited out.

#Started using other symbols now.
%The following paragraph appeared, which was what was written on my original press release for the show:

I was presenting a show on Sherwood Radio but I've a new one starting on Sunday on the new Trend Sound station.

After the line about John Peel's Doc Martins (good name for a band), the following appeared, again this wasn't from the article but from the press release:

I play an eclectic mix of unsigned bands, alternative classics, indie, punk, ska, rockabilly and reggae, with a smattering of comedy sketches and live sessions. There'll be guest co-presenters from the worlds of music and comedy as well.

It is handy that the above appeared really, to give the readers of EG an idea of what I'm about.

+Words in brackets were added.

$That whole bit became And I'm quite matey with Captain Dangerous.

{} This line came from my press release.

##Words in brackets were added.

The yellow paragraph covered by the [ ] symbols were added to the end of the article.

Poptastic mate!

A couple of jingles to announce the station and the presenters, and things kick off with 'Firework' by Katy Perry.

I haven't listened properly to Wayne Bavin's Saturday morning radio show before, although I have dropped in on it. The main problem lies with the time, and the fact that I have an aural appointment with Danny Baker on Five Live on Saturdays. But today I am listening to Wayne, an old friend of mine from years back.

In the mid-late 1990s I worked for a man called Paul Raffique, who monopolised the clubs and pubs of Redcar, (not exactly a big brag but he enjoyed his time as a big fish in this very small pond).

Wayne has just announced his interactive game, Celebrity Miss, Mr or Mrs. The clue was "You could have put something on the end of it". Quick jingle and then "more fun in the morning with Deacon Blue".

The bar-staff at Sharky's, along with the staff at our sister club Klub Kudos, were all involved in a scam that ensured our wage packets were not opened ever as their really was no need. As soon as the staff finished we would go and drink at Kudos, with an entire round costing £1. After the club, sorry Klub, we would end up round someone's house. Usually mine, as I had my own house. My parties started after work on Saturdays and ended on Monday.

Wayne is sounding very bouncy for a Saturday morning and is now dedicating this link to Bob Taylor, an annoying train conductor who seemingly ruined Wayne's morning. Then we went into the adverts. Followed by a song I don't recognise.

Wayne was the DJ at Sharkey's and was made for the job. He knew exactly what to play and when, and engaged with the dance floor in a way that only years of experience could teach you. I eventually got relieved of serving drinks on Friday and Saturday nights and instead had to stand in the DJ booth with Wayne selling tickets for Kudos. As many tickets as I was given, we would always make sure that we had several more to sell, for our own cash bonus.

Clue number two, "Does he need a lie detector?" I haven't a chance of a goody bag, Wayne says it is cryptic but this is just mad. Maybe it is because I'm not really up on 'celebrity'. Anyway, here's Flo-rider, whatever that is.

Wayne and I lost touch after the bubble burst on this delightful era. Gradually Paul Raffique's empire was sold on, and as it was common knowledge that his bar staff were ripping him off to the tune of hundreds of pounds each, as soon as someone bought a Raffique pub, the staff were out. This was 1998, and I found Wayne again last year through that magic find-your-friends service that is facebook.

'Hot and Cold', isn't this another Katie Perry song? Seriously, I don't know. Anyway, it is being played.

When I knew Wayne in the old days he was always involved in volunteer radio, hospital and community stations that sort of thing. According to his website he lost his way a bit and went into a series of 'proper jobs' when he became a dad. Can't fault him for that, but the hunger was there, and now he seems to be on every radio station in the north of England.

In radio, the weekends are not traditionally the big days, (as opposed to television where being moved to weekends is a promotion), so I'm surprised to see Wayne on weekends. Everything about Wayne's show smells of the weekday breakfast show; competitions, upbeat songs (not to my taste but his style of presenting makes up for it) and short sharp links with a smile in his voice.

A problem with buttons means that we can't have the music clue for this competition. We've got about five minutes left to find out who's won and hopefully what the answer was. 'So What' by Pink is on now.

"One of my favourite colours, that's Pink (see what he did there?), and 'So What', 9.41 GOOD MORNING DONCASTEEER, how ya doing? Hello Vera, how ya doing love? How's your dodgy knee? Okay, let's wrap up Celebrity for today..." The quiz is won by Chris and Martin, who win a goody bag. But the listener doesn't find out the answer.

Wayne and myself come from totally opposite ends of the radio presenter spectrum. There is no way I could be that breezy and 'DJ like', it just isn't my style. Then again I don't think Wayne would be suitable for an unsigned, alternative show like mine. But we don't live in a world where everything wants to be the same, although we are heading there. Local radio needs people like Wayne Bavin as much as it needs people like me.

I thoroughly recommend Wayne's Weekend Wake Up if you need a feel good pick me up type of radio show. Wayne has the perfect morning broadcaster voice, and he should by rights be on every morning. The music might not be to your taste, very pop, but the people of Doncaster must know what they want.

Wayne Bavin is the sort of kind hearted, warm, listener friendly DJ who enquires about Vera's dodgy knee. I personally couldn't care less about the knee health of my listeners. Maybe that's where I'm going wrong!

Sine FM can be listened to here.