Some of the best creative ideas are thought of when you least expect it, but an idea coming to me when I’m attempting to get undressed in a sexy fashion was a complete surprise. I’m sure I’m not the only man (in fact I would go so far as to say that every man in the world does this) who pretends to be a stripper when taking off his clothes in front of his wife/girlfriend. We all also kick off our underpants and try to catch them on our heads, yes we do.

As a brief background, Mandi and I have different manifestations of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. With me it is even numbers, list making, collecting, and re-checking (appliances switched off/doors locked, that sort of thing). Mandi is one of the tidying up and straitening things out type; right angles and neatness. The reason this is important is because the ‘normal’ male stripper method of swinging clothes over my head and throwing them around the room is more annoying than sexy to Mandi.

We joked about this and managed to riff on the idea of a neat and tidy troupe of male strippers who cater for women who want to keep everything tidy. I wonder if this would work as a concept, (now that I have published the idea it will perhaps be stolen by someone in Hockley). The stage would be set with a chest of drawers, a wardrobe, and various different items of bedroom furniture to be used as props. This could be the sexiest thing a woman with a neatness obsession will ever see on stage. I’ll call the group The House Prouds; they peel off their shirts seductively before placing them carefully in a laundry basket, off come their trousers – not those silly Velcro things but proper trousers that they sit down to remove before hanging them up in the wardrobe. You get the picture; this is my submission for next year’s Edinburgh Festival.

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It is at this time of year that prompted by the blogs and tweets from comedians, I start to feel a longing to put on a show at the Edinburgh Festival. What I’d do when I get there I don’t really know as I couldn’t comfortably do an hour of stand up, and sketch/character comedy is a little hit and miss thing to watch on stage. My character Ronnie ‘Chubby’ Corbett was a clever idea (though I say so myself) but only worked in small doses because it was essentially one joke; Ronnie Corbett style monologue (complete with my Corbett impression) followed by a sweary punchline delivered in a shouty North-East accent. The only other idea for a live comedy show is a set dedicated to ruining old joke, as I have explored before.

Another edition of The Shoebox Collection is now written, and I have made a little progress on The Woolworths Related Documentary (working title) so a good day at work was had. I now only have two more editions of Shoebox to write before I am due to record them, and then they will gather dust until next year when the series actually comes out. I’ve taken a short break from the Nathan McKenzie audio book as it was starting to take its toll. Audio book recording is probably the most difficult job of all* as it leaves no room for error, you have to be word perfect and not sound like you’re reading. Neither Nathan nor Shoebox should even be featuring in my work list as they should be finished by now, but I am slowly getting caught up.

*To clarify I meant that audio book recording is the most difficult job of all of the different jobs I do. It is harder than writing, radio, or reviewing a gig; I certainly did not mean that it is more difficult than saving lives or putting out fires.

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My daily blog can be delivered straight to your Kindle for 99p a month (link)

Listen to The Sunday Alternative here

All donations received via the PayPal button above will be used to fund creative projects such as podcasts, short films, documentaries, comedy sketches and a whole lot more. You are under no obligation of course, but thanks in advance if you do drop something in the pot.

The doctor asked me if I have any difficulty passing water. I said no I didn't.
— Steve Oliver(@SteveOliver76) November 23, 2012

A woman asks the barman for a double entendre. He informs her that there's no such drink.
— Steve Oliver(@SteveOliver76) November 23, 2012

I asked the butcher for a pound of bacon. The butcher said "lean back?". I said no, I wanted streaky.
— Steve Oliver(@SteveOliver76) November 23, 2012

I don’t know how the above tweets (and more) came to me, but once I started doing it, I couldn’t stop. Once I start tweeting jokes I get on a roll and sometimes can machine gun out a handful of zingers while I’m waiting for the kettle to boil. I posted these non-jokes a few days ago and wasn’t surprised to garner absolutely no response from it. No retweets and not a single ‘like’ on Facebook.

It’s a shame to waste the idea, and today it came to me. How would the public cope with seeing non-joke after non-joke rattled out on stage at a comedy club? Like the total opposite of Tim Vine, I would recite a well known joke before delivering not a punch line but a dose of realism. Jokes are not based on fact, (never has a speak your weight machine said “one at a time please” to a fat person, in fact I might go so far as to say that the speak your weight machine has never even existed), they are based on nonsense. What these non-jokes set out to achieve is taking away the punch lines and making the jokes real.

As I reported a few days ago, the idea of doing stand up comedy has always appealed to me, but nerves and a lack of material has always held me back. If I went on stage and immediately told the audience that I didn’t want them to laugh, that would throw them. I make it clear to the audience that I’m not there to make them laugh, I’m there to establish facts are straight, and hope that someone understood what I was doing. The open mic circuit would have to be my starting post, until I was able to develop the idea into an actual show. If I had enough money to take a risk, I could even take it to Edinburgh in August. Not this August coming obviously, I doubt I’d be ready by then. If nobody got it, then that’s their problem, I don’t expect to be hailed a genius until after I’m dead.

A couple of days ago I emailed Stewart Lee about the possibility of interviewing him prior to his gig in Nottingham later this month. Richard Herring passed on my email address to him, copying me in to Lee, and had already told me not to hold my breath as Stewart Lee isn't really one for a lot of interviews. Deciding on a 'who dares wins' attitude of not knowing until you try, I sent a polite email to one of this country's finest comedians to request an audience. I included links to my past interviews with Richard, and my published reviews of his gigs, just to show that as a fan first and journalist second I could be trusted. All I had to do now was wait for a yes or a no. Checking my emails, I was surprised to see an email from Stewart Lee appear, and steeled myself for the fact that it might be a negative reply.

It was a nice enough email, friendly, and all that. However, it didn't answer my enquiry about an interview. Stewart had been doing some research recently into the L.P. The Krankies Go To Hollywood, which Richard Herring had bought him for his 19th birthday. He googled the album name, and ended up at this blog. I tried it myself and to my surprise, the blog turns up on the first page of Google. This is good, seeing as nobody goes to page two and beyond. I started to wonder if this would make a good dialogue for a stand up show. An Edinburgh Festival show, in which I dissect the most unusual emails ever received and sent, with extra points for receiving them from someone famous. Maybe I could put together a show in which Stewart and myself listen to and analyse The Krankies one LP record release, song by song. Perhaps The Krankies would be available to make it a 'round table' discussion?

Then again, maybe not.