Picture from International Hero
When we are born we are essentially useless; a baby can't walk, talk, feed itself or even go to the toilet and we learn all of these life skills as we go along. It seems unfair therefore that if we live long enough and are unlucky enough, we gradually lose the ability to do all of the things that we spend the first few years of our lives learning and end up back where we started, laying in bed with no idea what is going on in the world around us. Thankfully my nana hasn't got to that stage and is still more than capable of looking after herself although she does now employ a cleaner but that is the only concession to her time of life that she has made, she still cooks and feeds herself and can get around, albeit slowly.
It was at the hospital today that it occurred to me that it seems somehow unfair that we lose our strength as punishment for living a long time. Shouldn't we gain strength with every passing year until by the time we are 100 we have the ability to race long distance trains? My nana is on a ward with old ladies of varying health and strength and one in particular who spent visiting time being shouted to by relatives when all she probably wanted to do was go back to sleep. We are living longer and medicine is improving so old people are stronger in some ways than in years gone; both of my great-granddads died at 71 and people commented on their 'good innings' yet nowadays that is considered quite young. My paternal granddad died at 62 and what killed him in 1986 would not have killed him in 2015 because things have improved. Yet there are times when I have seen elderly people struggling in and out of hospital and being kept alive with no quality of life to be kept alive for. If my dog was terminally ill then I would have to make the difficult decision to have the vet put him to sleep. I would take him to the park for one final run around with his ball and for a really nice walk, I would give him rich tea biscuits and sausages before allowing him to bark at as many pigeons and ducks as he liked. Jack having to suffer in pain is something I couldn't allow so after a lot of tears and reassurance (I like to think he understands when I talk to him) I would make that final trip to the vet. We don't do it to our pets because we don't love them, we do it because we do, yet we keep our human family alive without asking if that's actually what they want. Please don't think I am advocating killing off our families, it is just an illustration of how we treat pets and people differently even though they mean the same to us. My nana thankfully isn't at that stage but she does occasionally use the phrase (when describing one of her fellow complex residents usually) "If I get like that, shoot me". Although I understand the sentiment I wouldn't actually shoot her because she is my nana and I love her. If it was me who could no longer manage then I wouldn't want to be a burden, but by the time we become a burden we don't realise that we have become one do we?
When we are children our grandparents are the best people in the world, yet when we are adults it is too easy for life to get in the way of visiting them and then we feel guilty when we get a wake up call like the one I have had. When I lost my maternal grandmother last year I felt guilty at not seeing her more often and she lived miles away, as I said yesterday this nana is a ten minute walk away so when she comes out of hospital, (and I know she will) I will be making that ten minute walk more often because one day I will wish I could.
The Sunday Alternative will return soon.
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June housekeeping
The audio book of Bowie Day (a short story inspired by A Christmas Carol) will be released on August 31st. In the meantime the book can be downloaded to your Kindle from here.
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steveEoliver@gmail.com
