Picture from Happy Nice Time People
When I fire off a letter of complaint I expect to get a reply at least, an apology and a promise to sort out whatever it was that I got annoyed about for the benefit of future customers, and maybe some free stuff or a voucher like Cadbury did when they incurred my wrath. Although I don't do what I do for the free stuff, some free stuff might be nice although I wouldn't want it to cloud my judgement and put me under obligation to express a less than honest opinion. When I presented The Sunday Alternative on Trent Sound with Erik Petersen (one of the times he turned up, I never had much luck with consistent co-presenters) we went through a phase of discussing pork pies and that resulted in a butcher knocking on my front door one Sunday morning with a freshly cooked and delicious pie to eat on the show. People in my line of work used to be sent free records, t-shirts, get taken out for meals by pluggers and phoned up asking if they fancy touring the world with a band, I got a pork pie.
At this point I should show some gratitude to Paul who occasionally sends me the joker from decks of cards, something I collect.
So while I have never been treated to a free breakfast as a result of my writings, nor have I ever been sent free crisps in my capacity as the UK's number one crisp critic (number one/only, tomato/tom-ay-to). I did however get a reply from Asda customer services about my complaint that they had the wrong colour coding on their crisp packets. To be honest, I don't think they can see what a terrible mistake they made.
Dear Mr Oliver
Thanks for getting in touch with your feedback about the choice of colour on our Smart Price crisps.
I've passed your feedback on to my colleagues in the Technical Team, so it can be taken in to account next time the product is reviewed. We're always happy to hear what customers think of the products we sell. We also have a Facebook page where you can post your feedback too.
Whilst I appreciate you are unhappy with the choice of colour, I would say that Walker's use the same colours as we do on their own brand crisps*.
We have a 100% guarantee with all of the food we sell. Should you be unhappy with any food item you buy from us in future, please return the packaging (not the contents) to your local store. We'll refund or replace the item, and should it be an Asda brand product, we'll refund and replace.
Thanks again for getting in touch.
Yours sincerely
Tony Dixon
Asda Service Team
*They have missed the point here, Walker's Crisps are WRONG!
I do feel that my complaint hasn't been addressed in this letter at all.
The Sunday Alternative #50 is available from here.
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August housekeeping
We are now in the eighth month of the year and at a standstill as far as work is concerned. In unrelated news, it is my birthday on the 27th of this month so a nice present would be a donation using the PayPal button. This would be spent on creating podcasts, documentaries, short films, comedy sketches and various other entertainments that I will make available to enjoy online for free.
The above t-shirt and bag is also available to buy, all the money goes to the same creative fund. They are on my shop page.
I'll play you a kazoo song request, find out how here.
Letter of complaint written for you for £2, here.
steveEoliver@gmail.com
