picture from Nottingham Post

Maybe alcohol doesn’t work on Christmas Day, has anyone done any scientific research into this theory? I have made no secret of the fact that I can no longer hold my drink and only need a couple of pints and I’m on my way. I’m not staggering about singing ‘Show Me the Way to Go Home’ and pissing in phone boxes, but I certainly can’t operate heavy machinery, which is good really because I am very rarely called upon to operate machinery – heavy or otherwise. Although my tolerance for booze is none-existent I somehow managed to get through yesterday’s festivities on several cans of John Smiths, glasses of sherry on the evening, champagne with lunch (and a sneaky glass while helping in the kitchen) and a glass of port after lunch. I didn’t wake up until eleven o’clock this morning and I felt fine, so maybe my theory is true. Perhaps this is why it is acceptable to drink wine first thing in the morning on Christmas Day; if you drink cans of lager on a park bench before noon people judge you for it.

I gave in just after midnight after watching two episodes of Top Of The Pops on BBC4, for the first time ever I went to bed before Mandi who got involved in a documentary about The Carpenters (very Christmassy when you think about it, as Jesus was a carpenter, I am hilarious). While I was falling asleep after a very enjoyable and indulgent day, people were getting up to go and queue outside Victoria Centre in town for the sales, and it’s tidings of comfort and joy indeed. This is what is wrong with people today and this is why Christmas is being ruined by greed. At two o’clock this morning there was a queue to get a good vantage point outside a closed shopping centre and stand in the cold. Are your family that terrible that you have to go out on what is technically still Christmas night and stand with equally stupid people desperate to throw money around having had to have a day off?

We had to get ready in a bit of a hurry, including taking Jack for a walk, before meeting up for a family lunch at The Willow Tree. It wasn’t very busy when we got there for a pre-lunch drink, but had filled up a bit by the time we had eaten. My appetite was against me as I had no room for desert once I’d got through my soup starter and roast beef main course, so I substituted my pudding for a cup of coffee.

Once home we took Jack for a walk and then changed into our pyjamas and lazed in front of the telly watching Elf. We haven’t really watched a lot of Christmas films this year for some reason, but this is one of the favourites and we were both in tears by the end. You can go shopping if you want, but you can’t beat a relaxed Boxing Day in my opinion, I’ve always favoured today over Christmas Day for its chilled out atmosphere, you won’t have got that in a department store today.

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