Stolen Ideas
The Glam Metal Detectives
When I was about sixteen or seventeen, I posted a load of scripts to the BBC in the hope of being offered a job. Although I sent the scripts to the childrens' department, it was a post 9pm show that took my idea. One of the characters that I wrote was a young boy called Micky Mafia, a child who thought he was a 1930s Hollywood gangster. I never had a reply to my letter, but I turned the television on one night a few years later and saw this:
Bad Film Club
As a tie-in with my video series Charity Shop Film Guide, (see below), I came up with the idea of presenting a film club on a monthly basis. I contacted Screen 22, a small 22 seat cinema in Nottingham that closed down and reopened but didn't ever seem to open to the public. After a bit of emailing, we mutually stopped contacting each other. Prior to this, I had pitched the idea to Broadway Cinema, an independent cinema in Nottingham's Hockley area. They said they didn't think it had legs as an idea, which was strange because they then went ahead with Bad Film Night, for which I received no credit and no money.
Abandoned Projects
The Pod
Way back in 2007, when Myspace was the only social networking site, and YouTube was still yet to make the impact that it did, I came up with an idea for an online version of a television show. With live music and comedy, The Pod would have been a great show, except for the fact that in 2007 when audio podcasts were still a novelty concept, that you couldn't pitch the idea to anyone. It was impossible for me to book bands or interviews because nobody understood what I wanted to do. Nowadays it would have worked, but it would be part of a crowded market rather than unique.
Selectadisc Book
When the much loved record shop closed down, I wanted to write a book about its history. I advertised for anecdotes and memories, and had a lot of emails telling me that they have a story, yet when I replied asking for more information, nothing came forward. I recorded an interview with the manager, which I still have saved, but in the end I didn't have the material. Maybe one day I'll dust off what I have, and get the book finished.
Charity Shop Film Guide
Based on the availability of so-bad-they're-brilliant films on VHS in charity shops, I came up with the idea of a comedy series called Charity Shop Film Guide. Taking on the form of a spoof review, (the joke being that it was a review of a film that wasn't even available). I recorded three episodes, which went quite well critically, apart from one idiot who didn't quite understand the irony of it. I haven't logged in to the YouTube channel for ages due to forgetting the password, so I can't even delete it. The videos were okay, but in the end I didn't have the time to give this project my all. Part of me wants to do it as an audio podcast with sound clips from the films, especially as I have collected several more films to review, so it might return.
The Real Robin Hood Movie
When the last Robin Hood film came out, it occurred to me that a Robin Hood film has never been made in Nottingham, or Sherwood Forest to be exact. My idea was to make the first truly authentic Robin Hood film, using Nottingham actors and filmed at Sherwood Forest. As I've never seen a Robin Hood film or TV series, I could have written it without fear of copying anything that's already been done. Once again, time and money were an issue, so I may one day go through with this plan.
Song For Billie
My daughter Emily cried buckets at the episode of Doctor Who (Doomsday) when Rose Tyler went to another world. Over the next week we wrote a song about her, which we wanted to release as a single. On the one hand, the idea came to us at the right time; downloads had just started to count towards chart entries, so we could have released the song ourselves. Sadly, at the time I didn't know anyone with a studio so we couldn't record it. By the time I'd got contacts in the music business, Emily was too old to sing it. I still try and get her to do it, but there is a line about her being seven which she doesn't really want to sing at thirteen. Also, it has lost some topicality being about Billie Piper/Rose Tyler.
Muppet Disco
A club night where the DJ plays music from The Muppets, Fraggle Rock, Sesame Street, and other Henson films and shows. Booking a club, paying bouncers and bar staff, and selling tickets or getting people to pay on the door to break even is too risky. As much as I'd like to do this, I would have to make it as risk free as possible.
Top Of The Pops Party
Not connected with the television show, but instead referring to the series of albums that were on sale in the 1970s in which session musicians recreate the popular hits of the day. Top Of The Pops Party was my idea for a club night in which all the DJ played from these albums. As with Muppet Disco, above, I'm not prepared to take the financial risks.
Batman Lives In Nottingham EP
Wolaton Hall in Nottingham was used as Wayne Manor in the last Batman film, and Nottingham got excited about it, and I started a worldwide rumour that Adam West was going to be in it. I was unfortunate in coming up with this idea too close to the film's release and not having the time to execute it. I intended to gather some Nottingham bands to release covers of Batman related songs, (The Jam's version of 'Batman', the Mike and Bernie Winters novelty song 'Batman', which you all know due to hearing it on The Sunday Alternative, 'A Kiss From A Rose', 'Batdance', and others). I even wrote the chorus of a song called 'Batman Lives In Nottingham', so if any punky/alternative band fancies writing verses, I have a cracking chorus.
