Picture by Scott Daniels
The handsome chap in the above photo is me when I was at school, I reckon that considering I had obviously discovered hair gel by this time I must have been 14 or 15. Note how I'm wearing my tie the wrong way round to create a thinner tie? That was a thing back then, it might still be now for all I know. I did some exam invigilating before the summer holidays but didn't pay attention to the school tie etiquette. What struck me when I was in the exam room of what is nowadays called an academy and in my day was called a high school, is that the laws of the jungle have never changed. Each kid could easily have been in my year at school; the boys who rebelliously wear trainers, the kids with a white shirt that isn't a typical school uniform issue, the one who got picked on, the cool kid, the really cool kid, the one who has 'got off' with most of the girls in his year (and the year above if he really has the swagger), the tragically dorky kid who smells like a damp charity shop and clearly isn't from a wealthy family but doesn't get picked on because of some weird ethical understanding among bullies about him probably suffering enough, and those are just the boys. Among the girls you have the one everyone fancies and she knows it, the ones who are cool by proxy because they hang around with the one everyone fancies, the fat girl who usually hangs around with damp charity shop's female counterpart, the one who somehow got into the girl everyone fancies gang as the token ugly one, and the girl who disappeared amid rumours of a pregnancy. They all still exist.
Which one was I? I was a mixture really; I was picked on and certainly wasn't one of the cool kids (you're shocked I know), yet I had a good circle of friends that I am still in contact with. When I say contact I of course mean they are on my Facebook, although about ten years ago I spent an afternoon in a pub with my friend Scott (who took the above picture before apparently wiping my memory because I don't remember him taking photos) talking over old times.
My thoughts turned to my school days today as the news circulated on Facebook that the second person from our year had died within just over a year. Given that we aren't ready to turn 40 yet, (I'm 39 in a couple of weeks), we don't seem old enough to start having our school friends die on us. Neither of these were natural causes; the latest person committed suicide following a battle with depression (something I could end up doing myself one day) and last year a lad (lad - he would have been 38) had his body give up on him due to alcohol abuse. This doesn't stop the fact that the clock ticks louder for your own mortality when your school mates start falling off the perch. Sadly I don't remember the guy who died today, his name or face just don't ring any bells. However, Thomas died last year and he was a quite brilliant guy. In all honesty at school he was the damp charity shop lad and I didn't have a great deal to do with him at school, neither of us meant any ill feeling towards each other but we just didn't impact on each others lives. At Boston College I got to know him a bit better because we both lived in Skegness and had to travel by train, so many is the evening that we would sit on the freezing cold platform waiting for the train, or if it was raining the freezing cold waiting room. We pooled our money for a cheap packet of ten cigarettes and some cans of beer or a bottle of Thunderbird, strictly to keep the cold out of course, and talked for ages. Although considered a bit of a misfit he had a wide range of conversation and could hold court on almost any topic. We lost touch after the first year of college and his name didn't appear on Facebook so sadly the next time I heard his name was when the word got out that it was too late.
The Sunday Alternative #51 is available from here.
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August housekeeping
We are now in the eighth month of the year and at a standstill as far as work is concerned. In unrelated news, it is my birthday on the 27th of this month so a nice present would be a donation using the PayPal button. This would be spent on creating podcasts, documentaries, short films, comedy sketches and various other entertainments that I will make available to enjoy online for free.
The above t-shirt and bag is also available to buy, all the money goes to the same creative fund. They are on my shop page.
I'll play you a kazoo song request, find out how here.
Letter of complaint written for you for £2, here.
steveEoliver@gmail.com
