Today it was confirmed that the body found last night in Mansfield was that of Amber Peat, the thirteen year old girl who had been missing for several days. The death isn't being treated as suspicious and a verdict of suicide seems to be the conclusion. It is early days so we don't know all the facts but that won't stop the keyboard warriors from making their own assumptions about what happened in the lead up to this tragedy. I will stick my neck out and assume that there was more to it that not wanting to clean out a picnic box, but that is as far as I am willing to go. I have always said that suicide is how I will go at some point and I do still believe that because one day my depression will become too much to cope with and I will make the decision. Suicide is not cowardly, it is the most difficult decision you will ever make, and the last. People who knew her say that Amber was a happy child but a depressive person learns how to put on a fake smile and face the world when you don't want to. 

It does appear strange to me that her body wasn't discovered straight away but I wasn't there so I can't criticise those conducting the search, the lower end of the media will no doubt be going through bins and hassling neighbours and school friends for background information, online commentators will draw attention to how miserable she looks in photographs and imply that something wasn't right at home. Whatever the truth is will come out one day but until then it might be nice if everyone kept it to themselves, after all two girls no longer have a big sister and her family will hopefully be allowed to grieve in private. 

Yesterday I posted on my personal Facebook profile the opinion that depression awareness and counselling should be available in schools, especially with puberty age kids and it was met with a healthy response in the form of 'likes'. It certainly would have helped me while I was growing up as I didn't know at the time that I had depression and my behaviour and demeanour at the time could have been mistaken for the usual teenage grumpiness. If Amber was suffering with depression then she should have had someone she could turn to and talk it through. 

At this moment in time nothing is known so I will close this blog by expressing my sadness that a young person felt that suicide was the answer.