So much for Friday 13th being my lucky day, I thought after the last one that my curse guardian had agreed to keep out of my way and give me a reversal of fortune while everyone else suffered. With this in mind I decided to record the podcast knowing that nothing could possibly go wrong. This would leave me free to watch all the Comic Relief stuff and moan about how it isn't as good as it used to be in the glory days before second rate television presenters took control instead of comedians. What actually happened is the podcast didn't work properly and took ages until I woke up on my office floor at about one o'clock this morning having had one of my stress induced blackouts, something I am sure I should be more worried about than I am. If one good thing came from this episode it was that I missed a load of millionaires telling us how our hard earned money would be put to good use. It's Lenny Henry I feel sorry for, he goes to famine stricken parts of the world and sees such terrible living conditions and then gets jealous because they will at least never know the horror of staying in a Premier Inn.
At the risk of being controversial (far be it from me...), I am not a millionaire and could really do with some donations myself. I will spend it on making podcasts, short films, documentaries, comedy sketches and other such entertainments that in return will be available for free on the Internet.
Having woken up on my office floor and made my way to bed, I woke up at noon today with my head full of candy floss and it took me a while to get going. Thankfully there was a can of a cheap version of Red Bull (I drink far too many energy drinks to pay Red Bull prices, the 35p ones are just as good) in the fridge which I had as an early breakfast with a cigarette or two in order to try and get my brain into gear. Once dressed in whatever was on the floor next to my side of the bed I took Jack to the park for an hour to let him run around and fetch his ball and the cold fresh air helped to blow away most of the fog. On my return I made myself some breakfast (three boiled eggs with soldiers - I wouldn't have had time to visit a cafe so the new breakfast podcast will have to wait, unless Leftlion start doing one) and had a shower and by about two o'clock I was starting to feel a little bit human.
Mandi didn't want to go to town this afternoon so I made a quick round trip to do a bit of bank related errand running and got back out of town as soon as possible because the streets were full of people who didn't seem to understand the basic points of walking such as looking where you are going. Clumber Street in Nottingham City Centre is said to be one of this country's busiest thoroughfares and I think it is time for the council to do something about it, luckily I have an idea. My suggestion is to paint several lines along the street dividing it up into four lanes. You would walk on the left hand side (the same as driving on the road) with the lane nearest the shops (immediate left) would be the slow 'dawdling' lane and the middle lanes reserved as fast lanes for people who want to get somewhere. If you wanted to enter a shop you would have to filter into the slow lane, no sudden left or right turns into shops. Failure to adhere to this system would result in a day in the stocks in the Market Square. To make this work I would also bring back the stocks.
Nottingham couldn't be arsed to vote in favour of a mayor, if they had then I would have run as a candidate. Your loss Nottingham, your loss.
Listen to this week's edition of The Sunday Alternative here.
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March housekeeping
To purchase my audio books, albums, and books, please visit my Shop & Donations page.
I am trying to raise the money to extend The Sunday Alternative, read about it here.
We also need to fund a pilot episode of a new music and cookery show, read about it here.
Every penny that I receive via the PayPal button will be used to fund future projects such as podcasts, short films, comedy sketches, documentaries, and more. They will be made available for free online and I will not personally benefit financially. All help is greatly appreciated.
steveEoliver@gmail.com
