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Thursday, 18 December 2014


Although I can’t remember when I first saw them, I have long been a fan of Band of Jackals, a Nottingham band who has been together three or four years. We were lucky enough to have them in the studio last year for a live session on NottinghamLIVE and I have regarded them as a band that would surely be lucky enough to break free of Nottingham’s restrictive music scene and go on to bigger and better things. Sadly this won’t happen now (at least in the current line up if the reports are accurate) as tonight was their final gig, surely a late contender for gig of the year, at one of our best venues – Jam Café.

Even more unfortunately, today was my Nana Freda’s 90th birthday and a party had been organised by various members of the family in the communal area on the complex where she lives. If only I had a time machine so that I could go back and visit my great-grandparents and ask them to either hold on for one more day or try and manage the day before. I’m sure they would have understood the request of a stranger who informed them that one of his favourite bands would be playing their final gig in ninety years time and I wouldn’t want to miss it. It might of course have been easier to ask the band to put things off a day but if I’ve got a time machine I am getting my moneys worth. Having said that, if I had a time machine it would have been possible to attend both of these events and (had I felt like it) also gone to the Crown Court Christmas meal.

I wasn’t in the mood for any of these three possibilities to be honest, as I am in a mild depressive state (brought on incidentally by the Christmas party season) and couldn’t be arsed being sociable with anyone, not even my family. I’d already decided against the Christmas meal but had planned to go along for a drink after work just to show willing. Another option was to go back into town after my nana’s party and see the gig, but I was still suited for the courtroom and by the time I got home I remembered that I don’t have the capacity for alcohol that I once had and watched the BBC3 repeat of Eastenders instead.

Even when my mood is good I still suffer from crippling shyness and need to psyche myself up to leave the house to go anywhere, yet once I am there I thoroughly enjoy myself. Tonight was an example, I wouldn’t have missed my nana’s birthday party for the world and it was lovely to see members of my family again as we don’t get together on this scale often enough. For a 90 year old woman, my nana does incredibly well compared to some of the people in her flats who seem to have given up on life and seem content to sit at home waiting to die. She loves her family and we love her and she really enjoyed the party which is all that matters. My cousin had booked a singer to entertain us for an hour but she was one of those people who walk around the room holding the microphone in front of people for them to complete the line. The young son of one of my cousins was found hiding behind a door in the kitchen because “that lady keeps singing at me”, my thoughts exactly and had there been room I might have joined him. Once she had finished (with a rendition of ‘Happy Birthday’) I felt able to relax safe in the knowledge that I wasn’t going to be called upon to tunelessly turn out a quick “let it snow let it snow let it snow”.

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