I was on the tram this morning, it wasn't busy so I was able to get a seat. A woman behind me appeared to be addressing everyone on the tram with some kind of update on her life, in particular her relationship troubles. Although I only had her side of the story to go on so I wondered if this was a question and answer session and turned round to see where the rant was coming from. It turned out that the tram company hadn't decided to have a public speaker service, but that she was talking on one of those portable telephone machines. I have such a gadget and find that I'm able to talk into it at a normal talking volume, in fact I'm a bit shy of using it in too public a place and will mumble a request to call me back in a little while.
During the course of her public breakdown of her life, with someone I assume was deaf, I got an update on her woes.
She LITERALLY died when she found out he'd forgotten to do something. So you came back to life then? Amazing!
Her blood LITERALLY boiled when he was late to meet her because he was in the pub with his friends. No wonder she died, boiling blood can never have a healthy outcome!
She LITERALLY threw him out of the house last week. I'd have loved to have seen this display of strength!
She met his parents and LITERALLY shit herself. There's nothing like a good first impression!
He got drunk and LITERALLY threw up everywhere. Everywhere? In the library? In my house? Were the streets a tidal wave of sick? No!
He'd rather go out with his friends than spend too much time with her. I am not surprised, Literally!
