I walked past a transit van parked up in a residential area, it might have been parked up while the driver did some work on a house, or maybe it was the house of the driver and had just finished work and was home for dinner, (it was after five). Whatever the situation, the van was parked and wasn't surrounded by any sign of life. My eye was caught by the sign on the side of the van, the sign that we have no doubt seen written on work vans before; "No tools are left in this van", written as a warning that there simply is no point in breaking into the van and attempting to steal from it. On the dashboard of this van, for reasons I do not know, there sat a cheese grater. Not you might think, a common thing to have in a work van, or indeed any vehicle. Not unless the driver insists on having his packed lunch made from scratch to the point where he grates his own cheese on site. Maybe he also slices his own bread, peels the leaves from a lettuce, and slices some ham. Perhaps his van was awash with knives, a breadboard, a knife and fork, and a choice of pickles and sauces?

My concern was that the presence of a cheese grater might have in some way negated the 'no tools' signage. Surely the cheese grater is a tool, a tool to aid the grating of cheese, (you can also use it for carrots among other things). You could of course argue that it is a utensil, and not a tool at all, as my girlfriend did when I brought the subject up, (I imagine this is what being married to Jeremy Paxman is like). But then again, is a utensil a tool? Or should I stop worrying about such piffling matters?