It’s been quite a week for
racism, with two people on opposite ends of the BBC’s scale of stardom in
trouble for incidents involving an inflammatory insult aimed at black people.
Jeremy Clarkson appeared to use that word in an unbroadcast outtake of Top Gear, which a gutter press tabloid (hardly the holders
of the moral high ground) vindictively posted on their website after they had
edited it, slowed it down, and tinkered with it, so that it might appear that
he did use that word.
Having watched the clip, (thankfully not on the Daily Mirror’s
website as I wouldn’t be able to live with myself for adding to their traffic),
it seems that to my ears he recited the said nursery rhyme ‘Eeenie Meenie Miney
Mo’ and affected a deliberate mumble over the space where that
word was supposed to go. If you listen hard enough, (which is
exactly what you are supposed to do), it does sound a little bit like he used that word. That could of course be
because you have been told that the word was used and you can’t hear anything
else, similar to my enjoyment of ‘Bohemian Rhapsody’ being ruined by singing
the line “spare him his life from these pork sausages”, (perhaps we should ban
‘Bohemian Rhapsody’ in case it offends Muslims). What Clarkson actually said,
and I am not an apologist for him by any means, was some sort of “ner ner”
noise, or at least that is what I heard, even when watched on a slowed down
loop thanks to the efforts of a so-called newspaper that just happens to be a
rival to the equally cuntish rag that Jeremy Clarkson writes a column for,
(which might be a factor in this witch hunt).
Clarkson posted a video
explanation online, in which he seemed to have adhered to the old showbiz maxim
if you can fake sincerity, you’ve got it made.
In the video he offered the standard apologies and quoted a note he had written
to the production team about how horrified he was that he might have been
misinterpreted and asked if they could go with the take in which he replaced that word with teacher. When I was a
kid that particular rhyme, used to make a decision between two things, had the
more acceptable line “grab a baby by the toe”. I was however aware of the older
racist version, as I’m sure a lot of people are, including Jeremy Clarkson. The
outcome of this debacle is that Clarkson is now on a final warning from the
BBC. This basically means that the next time he says something even vaguely
offensive, he will leave the BBC and sign a lucrative contract with another
channel, write a book about the whole experience, and leave the BBC without its
major cash source. Another outcome is that the people who hate Clarkson will
carry on hating him, the people who love him will carry on loving him, and the
people in the middle, the couldn’t-give-a-shit-either-way crowd will continue to
not give a shit either way.
Top Gear is apparently the world’s biggest factual entertainment programme, and
of course makes billions of pounds every year for the BBC. Jeremy Clarkson the
brand is part of the reason for that, and as such is worth a lot more to the
BBC than a local radio presenter with a popular show on Sunday teatime. This is
perhaps why they were so quick to sack BBC Devon broadcaster David Lowe for an
innocent mistake, in order to look as if they are clamping down on racial
language and following up on an offended email from ONE listener.
The sun has got his hat on,
hip hip hip hooray,
the sun has got his hat on
and he’s coming out to play
(Noel Gay/Ralph Butler)
The vast majorities of people
know the four lines above but don’t know the rest of the song. A similar
phenomenon struck ‘I’ll Be There For You’ by The Rembrandts; once the opening
theme tune to Friends is over, there’s the
small matter of the most famous song in the world, that gets played on British
television maybe six times a day, having more words that nobody in the world,
(not even The Rembrandts or the cast of Friends) has a
clue about. My knowledge of the song is thanks to my liking of musicals so I am
aware of the rest of the song. However, in every cast rendition of the song
that I have heard the line that dropped David Lowe in the shit was replaced by
the less offensive but no less nonsensical “he’s been roasting peanuts in
Timbuktu”. As far as I was aware, they were the words, so Mr. Lowe can be
forgiven (can’t he?) for this error. When The Sunday Alternative
started, you will recall that I used to start every show with a music hall
song, and start the second hour with a comedy song of old. I once decided to
play ‘My Boomerang Won’t Come Back’, as in my memory it was an innocent song
about a toy. It wasn’t until I listened to my copy of it that I realised that
the ‘comedy’ aborigine voice alongside Charlie Drake’s was borderline Jim
Davidson’s ‘Chalky’ character and decided I shouldn’t play it. You might argue
that David Lowe could have done the same thing and listened to ‘The Sun Has Got
His Hat On’ before playing it on live radio.
I have occasionally played a
song on the radio with an errant ‘fuck’ in it, when the show started at 9pm I
wasn’t bothered, an episode of Steve’s LP Box
once went out on Trent Sound about the eponymous debut album by Rage Against
The Machine and nobody complained. When the show moved to Sunday lunchtime I
was a lot more careful, although I did once play the wrong version of the two
versions I had of a particular song and apologised straight away afterwards,
mindful of the families gathered round listening from baby to granny. A live
session guest once swore several times during his performance but of course I
couldn’t bring the session to an abrupt end so I had no choice but to let him
continue. Thankfully there were no complaints, although to be fair Internet
radio is covered by slightly different regulations, having said that even I was
amazed that Sleaford Mods were allowed to fuck and cunt their way through a
live session for Nottingham LACE one Saturday
afternoon.
To return to the argument that
Mr. Lowe should have checked the song first, it is a preposterous suggestion. Singers and Swingers is a show that plays gentle requests on
a Sunday evening, and although I’ve never listened to it (despite the ability
to listen online I have never felt the need as local radio should be just
that), it sounds like a great idea and the sort of thing that local radio
should be doing. If I had been asked to play ‘The Sun Has Got His Hat On’, I
would have eschewed the more up to date stage cast recordings of Me And My Girl and deliberately found a version from 1932 as
that would have been the suitable version for that particular type of radio
show, (which incidentally if any radio bosses are reading this, is the sort of
show I want to do when I reach that age). I would have played it in all
innocence and good faith, and I too would have been horrified to have received
a complaint when that word was broadcast.
Without even a chance to say goodbye to his no doubt loyal fan base, he was
shown the door for a mistake that anyone could have made. Even though I knew
the song I didn’t know about the ‘original’ version and its choice of lyrics.
I’m not saying that a DJ should knowingly and deliberately broadcast that word
and don’t condone the use of it anywhere in today’s society, but neither do I
condemn a song written in 1932 by judging it against modern day standards. BBC
Devon received one solitary complaint for a mistake and sacked a popular
broadcaster, whereas Clarkson received bucketfuls for his faux pas, (although
Clarkson usually knows what he’s doing, evident in his recent ‘slope’
controversy) albeit engineered complaints via a tabloid vendetta and got off
with nothing more than a slapped wrist.
The BBC have been paranoid
about complaints and compliance ever since the Sachs-A-Phone scandal,
engineered by The Daily Mail who made sure that
although two weeks passed by without event, enough people complained about it
once they had pushed the point home. It must have been hard for The Mail on Sunday to support this ‘The Sun Has Got His Hat
On’ case given their hatred of the BBC fighting against their love of racism.
That BBC paranoia has now increased in the wake of let’s call
it Eenie Meeny Miney Mo-Gate, so the slightest potentially racist
comment will be severely dealt with. I doubt that The Tweenies will ever sing
‘Baa Baa Black Sheep’ again, and the financial reports will have to find an
alternative expression for the opposite of being in the red.
When my daughter was little I
used to sing to her the song ‘You Are My Sunshine’, but again it is the sort of
song you (or maybe it’s just me) only knows the first bit of. Actually to be
fair there aren’t many songs I know all the words to, and ‘You Are My Sunshine’
is one of the ones I have no clue about beyond the first bit:
You are my sunshine
My only Sunshine
You make me happy
When skies are grey
You’ll never know dear
How much I love you
So don’t take my sunshine away.
(Oliver Hood)
If I presented an oldies radio
show and a listener contacted the show to request it, I would play it without
checking the words to it. My reason is that although I don’t know the rest of
the song, I assume it to be as charmingly innocent as the opening verse. For
all I know (and I haven’t checked for this blog) the second verse might be
about Chinese people all looking alike, or Indians opening corner shops, by
which time it would be too late. Of course I’d be upset and shocked that I’d committed
such a radio sin, but radio stations simply don’t employ anyone to listen to
every single song in the world on the off chance that it might be broadcast.
Actually, the BBC is probably advertising for such a role right now.
===
My daily blog can be delivered straight to your Kindle
for 99p a month (link)
If you’ve enjoyed reading this, please consider
showing your appreciation by way of a donation using the PayPal button above
this blog. Every penny will be used to create free online content. There are
currently plans for a comedy sketch series, an online cookery and music show, a
video version of The Sunday Alternative and plenty
more including documentaries, short films and podcasts.
Listen to The Sunday Alternative
here.
