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A heartfelt Christmas story in two acts.

Act 1

It was the Friday before Christmas and I was on the bus heading into town to do some Christmas shopping. Behind me, on the seats at the back, I could hear the frustrated but patient pleas from a mother to her daughter to sit still while the bus was moving otherwise she would fall and hurt herself. I could tell that this wasn't one of those mothers who shouted and swore at her child in a way to make you wonder why she reproduced in the first place, this was a nice mother who simply didn't want her daughter to hurt herself. From my seat I heard the mother gently remind her child that Santa would be watching her and that she should be good. It has often baffled me why more parents don't use this tactic, especially as it has traction from around September. In fact I think this should be a feature of the tannoy announcements on public transport - "Hi kids, if you're making a noise or being a nuisance, Santa will not bring you any toys".

Eventually I caught the daughter's name, I won't say it here for privacy reasons so I will refer to her as 'Alice'. This was my chance to inject a bit of Christmas magic to their lives so I got out of my seat and sat opposite 'Alice' and her mother and started a conversation. "I am really busy today", I began, "I work for Santa Claus and I have to make a note of who is being good". I took out my notebook and wrote down her name, helped by her mum who immediately played along, "Yes that's right, Alice Jones". I had a brief conversation with 'Alice' who agreed to be good, and I agreed to cross her name out of my book at the end of the day. We exchanged a high five and I returned to my seat, listening all the way to my stop to 'Alice' discussing this encounter. 

The nice thing here is that she might or might not remember this next Christmas, but there's a strong chance that her mum will remind her. Maybe 'Alice' will recall this every year, and when she grows up and has children of her own she will regale them with the story of how she met one of Santa's helpers working undercover one year when she was little. Hopefully I will see 'Alice' and her mother this December because this will add to the magic. The ultimate result would be me living long enough to meet 'Alice' as a grown up mother and see her near Christmas and this will back up her story to her kids and keep the magic of Christmas alive as I tell them about how I visited 'Alice' when she was a child and introduced myself as one of Santa's helpers.

Act 2

We were in Sherwood on the same afternoon. While in and out of various shops I became aware of a commotion. A car was beeping at another car to move out of the way, but it was the beeper that was in the wrong. The car in front was trying to reverse into a space but couldn't because of the impatient beeping fool. Intermittent flashes of his reverse lights didn't seem to be getting the point across so I decided to help, fresh from my success with 'Alice' and buoyed by my new position as the spreader of Christmas spirit. I tapped on beeper's window and when his wife rolled the window down I pointed out that the other guy was trying to reverse into the parking space. The husband replied to me, "He's a daft cunt isn't he!?" I pointed out that he was in the right and that if he reversed up a notch then the guy would be able to reverse into his space. "Fucks sake" he murmured and reversed.

Tidings of comfort and joy!

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