© BBC

I am in the full swing of my annual cold and once again I have taken a stand for maleism (made up word, it’s the male equivalent of feminism) and put on a brave, if a little pale and baggy eyed, face on and got on with life. That whole bullshit about ‘man-flu’ is blatant sexism and as soon as the world wakes up and stops this silly attitude then we can step out of the dark ages and men and women can live together as if they were equal (slight tip of the hat to Richard Herring there). Hopefully I am setting an example by carrying on with my daily life instead of crying about being poorly and if people see that men are not struck down as soon as they get a sniffle then we can raise awareness of the fact that ‘man-flu’ is something thought up by women to further oppress us.

If I am being honest, I am only being brave to store up points for the next time Mandi is ill, and I’ll be able to once again play my ‘well I couldn’t stop when I was poorly’ card. The truth is I feel like a sack of shit but as I am holiday next week I am powering through, I don’t mind being ill at work but to be ill on your own time is a step too far, like going for a poo in your lunch hour, you just don’t want to do it and let your boss win. Apart from interrupting courtroom proceedings with intermittent coughing and sneezing fits, I am also working hard to get the Nathan McKenzie audio book fully uploaded so that I can release it on Monday. I have had to hold off from recording the other books which is a bit of a shame, but once I’m back in action I should by the skin of my teeth have this year’s work list completed.

Throughout the course of this bout of illness I have carried on pretty much as normal; work, walking the dog, writing and recording and sorting through future work projects. I’m not by nature a lazy or leisurely sort of person so switching off doesn’t come easily to me. Last time I was ill I tweeted during a radio show the medication I had taken and received a reply from a concerned woman who suggested I seek immediate medical attention. Because she had frightened me into it I did and was advised to drink plenty of water and be more careful in future. This time around I have paid a bit more attention to dosage instructions.

Due to either the curse of bad luck that I’m convinced follows me around or lack of organisation, I was totally without any form of remedy in the house. I always bemoan the fact that we don’t keep a well stocked medicine collection, but when you’re well you don’t think about it. Once again I have said that I will buy loads of everything so in future we have every eventuality covered, but I know I won’t. Mandi went shopping for Lemsip, Beechams Flu Plus, cold and flu tablets, and some vitamin C tablets you put in water to create a fizzy healthy squash drink that I will stop using once I am better. Tomorrow night I intend to blast this fucker out once and for all by doing my usual trick of imbibing a heady mix of Lemsip, tablets, chamomile tea (it knocks me out) and going to bed in tracksuit bottoms, sweatshirt and thick socks so I can sweat it out. If I’m ill next week when I’m meant to be on holiday then bollocks to it, I’m going to work.

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