My resolution (if you can call
it that) to be more productive has already fallen a little flat, with my to-do
list broken down into daily tasks which I then ignore and watch repeats of Harry Hill’s TV Burp on GOLD until I fall asleep being part
of my routine now. The facility that Sky TV provides allowing you to record
programmes and save them to a magic little box is proving to be something of a
downfall. There’s a backlog of The Simpsons I
need to catch up on, I have started to record them rather than watch then live
so that I have a bank of episodes to watch all at once and avoid the ones I
have seen a million times before. If I sit down to watch The Simpsons
and I have seen it, then I still watch it so this way I can at least give
myself the chance to not waste twenty minutes of my life at a time (the same
rule also applies to Family Guy and American Dad). I’m still a bit bemused in an
if-people-from-the-past-knew-what-we-will-be-able-to-do kind of way about this
ability to pause live television. You couldn’t do it with Virgin Media, in fact
there was very little you could do with Virgin Media – you were lucky if you
could get anything from the telly, Internet access, or a working telephone line
at any one time without it cocking up. There’s a small part of me that feels
that pausing live programmes is a little bit like playing God, if there was
one. When the first episode of the new series of Sherlock
aired on New Year’s Day, we paused it to arrange some Christmas buffet food and
drink, and didn’t watch it until fifteen minutes in. People had waited two
years to find out how Sherlock Holmes faked his suicide, and now some selfish
bastard in Nottingham is making them wait another quarter of an hour. It doesn’t
seem right to give me this sort of power, I can’t wait to see if England ever
make it to a World Cup final, I will really mess with people’s lives then by
pausing the entire first half and then fast-forwarding the whole thing so the
whole country has to watch it in the style of The Benny
Hill Show.
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