Another day, another Christmas
special. Today it was the turn of The Sunday Alternative,
a show that didn’t have a Christmas show last year as I had quit the station.
This year I chose some of the most inappropriate festive music, thanks in part
to my friend and colleague Andy Haynes who left me a compilation CD that
certainly didn’t contain any Wombles or Cliff. This show certainly matched the
legendary show I did for Sherwood Radio, although whether or not it is listened
to in real time every year remains to be seen.
I was in a bit of a grump (for
a change) to begin with as Gary had informed me that he was going to be late, so
I soldiered through the first half hour generally bitching about Christmas and
how we should skip it next year. Gary turned up during the first hour and I
changed gear immediately, proving that I do work better with a partner. I
haven’t had the best luck when it comes to Sunday Alt
co-presenters in the past; although I am still on speaking terms with most of
them, so I’m glad that Gary agreed to join me in the first place. Our on-air
rambles aren’t staged for radio; we talk like this in real life too which in my
opinion makes it a more natural partnership. In between songs we riffed on
cover versions of Christmas songs that shouldn’t be made, (although part of me
wouldn’t mind hearing The Krankies tackle ‘Fairytale Of New York’), and made
our predictions for the traditional Christmas Day celebrity death. I chose
Bruce Forsyth, as it would be fitting somehow, Gary went with Cliff Richard*
and Andy (who does the show after us) plumped for Ronnie Corbett. Is it worth
popping in the bookies for a spread bet? Do bookies open on Sunday?
*I texted Gary earlier in the
week with the simple message: Song title: ‘Cliff, Come Out For Christmas’. By
the next morning, Gary had written the rough draft of a song calling for Cliff
Richard to come out of the closet. Not only that, but he then sent me the song.
Although a bit tatty around the edges, it is a work of genius and testament to
the way our minds work. Unfortunately, he won’t let me air it but it has become
one of those ‘underground’ songs that get the thumbs up from everyone who hears
it. My suggestion is that we sit on the song until Cliff dies (it can’t be too
long – then watch the skeletons fall out of the closet, maybe that’s why Cliff
doesn’t come out, because he is trapped by skeletons) and then release it. If he
dies in the middle of the year then so be it, the song goes on Soundcloud
anyway and gets a proper release the following year as a tribute.
Before I went to my dad’s for
lunch, I had to endure a visit to Argos. I can’t recall ever actually shopping
in Argos before (although just like every kid in the country, I used to love
reading the Christmas catalogue), but it turned out to be exactly as hellish as
I expected. It is a little bit like going into a betting shop (something else I
have never done); you go in, fill in a little slip and hand it in, and if
you’re luck is in you walk away with a prize.
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