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Wednesday 22 July 2015


It's something I often criticise her for, but I suppose I can understand my girlfriend Mandi not taking 100% interest in my career. It isn't that she isn't interested as such, it is probably more to do with me having my fingers in so many pies that she can't (be bothered to) keep up with what I am doing at any given time. When I'm in my office she leaves me alone to write or record and doesn't listen to the podcasts or audio books. She doesn't read my blog, reasoning that she lives with me so knows what has happened and doesn't need to read about it. I tell her about things like the ice-cream van project, ghost signs, Skittles, and my self-appointed status as crisp critic. Although she knows I own a kazoo I would doubt that she could name all the members of Soft Silly or know the track listing for my solo Christmas album. In contrast to my ex-wife who did all she could to hold back my career to the point where I had to start all over again from scratch when I finally escaped, I am glad that Mandi at least gives me the freedom to get on with it. When I released Bowie Day (a short story inspired by A Christmas Carol) on the Kindle I printed a copy for her to read, it is still unread on her bedside table. 

Before I posted it yesterday morning, the night before I read out loud to her the letter of complaint to Asda about their crisps being in the wrong coloured packets. I had to make a rule about reading out loud after an incident when I was reading her a short story with a brilliant ending and she butted in with a question that ruined it, so I was able to read my letter to Asda all the way through with varying degrees of disbelief being expressed on her face. When I had finished she asked if I was seriously going to post it and tried to stop me because people would take the piss and I would look like an idiot. At one point she tried to compare me with Alan Partridge which I thought was a bit unfair. I pointed out that the correct colour matching for crisp flavours is something that people feel strongly about and that if they do take the piss then at least I will know they have read it. If Asda attempt to turn it into a piece of viral comedy then they will see how many people agree with me about this matter and will end up seeing the error of their ways.

I pointed that out to Mandi and she replied "Needless to say I had the last laugh".

The Sunday Alternative #48 is available from here.

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July Housekeeping

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