Some of the best creative ideas are thought of when you least expect it, but an idea coming to me when I’m attempting to get undressed in a sexy fashion was a complete surprise. I’m sure I’m not the only man (in fact I would go so far as to say that every man in the world does this) who pretends to be a stripper when taking off his clothes in front of his wife/girlfriend. We all also kick off our underpants and try to catch them on our heads, yes we do.

As a brief background, Mandi and I have different manifestations of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. With me it is even numbers, list making, collecting, and re-checking (appliances switched off/doors locked, that sort of thing). Mandi is one of the tidying up and straitening things out type; right angles and neatness. The reason this is important is because the ‘normal’ male stripper method of swinging clothes over my head and throwing them around the room is more annoying than sexy to Mandi.

We joked about this and managed to riff on the idea of a neat and tidy troupe of male strippers who cater for women who want to keep everything tidy. I wonder if this would work as a concept, (now that I have published the idea it will perhaps be stolen by someone in Hockley). The stage would be set with a chest of drawers, a wardrobe, and various different items of bedroom furniture to be used as props. This could be the sexiest thing a woman with a neatness obsession will ever see on stage. I’ll call the group The House Prouds; they peel off their shirts seductively before placing them carefully in a laundry basket, off come their trousers – not those silly Velcro things but proper trousers that they sit down to remove before hanging them up in the wardrobe. You get the picture; this is my submission for next year’s Edinburgh Festival.

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