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Friday, 8 August 2014

I’m pretty sure that when I go into one of my rants about being cursed my girlfriend Mandi switches off. She never really tries to engage me in a conversation about it, preferring to let me get it out of my system. I would go so far as to say she doesn’t believe that I am really cursed, despite all my evidence to the contrary. This was a blog topic a couple of weeks ago when we went to Skegness for the day and it rained after weeks of sunshine and I blamed my curse.

Today Mandi took Jack to the vets, meaning she had to pick him up from my dad’s (he looks after him while we’re at work) and I had arranged to meet her back at my dad’s afterwards. My sister and brother-in-law were down for the day so we had a bit of a catch up, having not seen them since the funeral in February. When it was time to go home we needed to do a bit of shopping so Mandi said she would go to Sainsbury’s near us. I said I would take Jack home and feed him and the cats before heading out to meet Mandi at Sainsbury’s to help carry the bags. As regular readers will know, I am not a fan of supermarkets but timing was of the essence as I wanted to start the weekend. Once I had arrived home and fed the pets I was boiling hot and sweating like a pig, a pig they forgot to kill before putting it on a hog roast. I was still wearing my suit from being in court all day but couldn’t be bothered to get changed, but the weather was nice enough to warrant going back out (and Sainsbury’s from our house is not exactly climbing Everest) in just my shirt. Obviously as this is my life, and the director of the film of my life is an utter arsehole, it pissed it down as soon as I was too far away from my house to bother turning back to grab a jacket or umbrella. There was no shelter so I just had to brazen it out and arrive at Sainsbury’s soaked to the skin. The first thing I did was pop to the toilets to dry my hands under the drier before grabbing a carrier bag to put my phone and cigarettes in to protect them. As soon as I got home I peeled my clothes off and had a shower, we’d forgotten a few bits while shopping but I decided that we would just have to do without.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again; if I fell in a barrel of tits I would come out sucking my thumb!

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