Happier times with Nana Florence circa 1990 (an assumption based on the forgotten label USED CO)

(Family archive)

I don’t know the true meaning of dreams but I’m sure someone might be able to help by analysing this one. My maternal grandmother died in February, and as I wrote at the time I hadn’t seen her for a number of years. My happy memories of her, both of my mum’s parents for that matter, are thankfully not sullied by witnessing her deterioration in later years, not that this should excuse me from not having made more of an effort. Last night I had a dream in which I was having dinner with my nana and two other people I couldn’t identify; maybe my parents, maybe my mum and step-dad, maybe my brother and one of my sisters, maybe both my sisters, maybe two people I don’t know. My nana was as I remember her from my childhood, laughing and joking and in wonderful spirits. What makes it weird though is the fact that this dream wasn’t a period piece, I was the age I am now and Nana, although in a good way at the dinner table, was still dead. She wasn’t a ghost, I don’t believe in ghosts, she was at the table as a living breathing person who just happened to be dead, if that makes sense (and I know it doesn’t). She was talking about how much better she was feeling since she died and everyone was agreeing with her and telling her how well she looked, considering. I have had the same dream about my paternal granddad Eddie, and weirder still so has my dad. My granddad died when I was nine years old and although I remember being devastated, I don’t have any reason to feel guilty. Maybe it’s to do with missing someone you love? It would be pretty cool if you could die and then carry on as if nothing has happened, treating death as something slightly inconvenient that just happens.

Work update: I am still running behind with the audio book but at the same time I am on course to have it released for the Christmas market. If you’re buying someone an MP3 player then why not load a few audio books onto it first?

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