I limit my live work these days, just like David Bowie. We have that in common, David Bowie and me, our reluctance to appear on stage so not to dilute the enigma. Bowie has yet to make a live comeback, but I am appearing on stage tomorrow thus winning the comeback race and being better than Bowie at something. Actually, it is because I’m very rarely asked. If you were to do a count up it might come to light that David Bowie has been asked more but said no.

Tomorrow evening I am compering at a club called Nirvana, the occasion being the EP launch of Amateur Tape Recordings by Blue Vulture. Bainy has put the show together with a lineup of local talent (whether you want to include me under that umbrella is up to you); Rosie Abbott, The Rascells, The CTRL, and of course Blue Vulture headlining. I can safely assume that I wasn’t the first choice as my stock seems to have dropped several points since I stopped doing radio (I only stay living in Nottingham because of who it pisses off that I won’t leave), but it’s always nice to be asked to do these things. My last two compering engagements weren’t brilliant; Our Big Gig in the Arboretum didn’t really need mine or Darren’s help as it was over booked with comperes, and the Rosie May Memorial gig last summer (Nottingham’s Live Aid) was turned into a shambles on the outside stage due to bad organisation causing the running order to clash with the indoor stage.

My favourite compere gig was Prefontaine & Friends at Jongleurs last year. Gary had asked me to do it at the very last minute (by which I mean literally – the proper use of the word – seconds before I went on stage unprepared) and I basically went out with some of my music related jokes. It was an excellent night despite my help and it was one of the nicest gigs I’ve ever been involved with in terms of camaraderie between all the acts. I haven’t compered since and have never expected to be asked.

That is until a few weeks ago when Bainy asked me to do tomorrow’s gig. I have written an introduction to each act and a ten minute warm up spot to open the show. If I say so myself, it is rather funny and will hopefully get the crowd in a good mood.

I always used to be pretty good at learning lines during my brief attempts at acting and standup, but I’m finding the opening spot difficult to remember in the right order. As a precaution I have written some little prompts on squares of card to hold discreetly in my hand should I need them. I have also been reciting the routine while walking Jack. To be honest he doesn’t look that impressed, but what does he know about comedy?

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