I have only just noticed that a new coffee place called Wired has opened in the land of the hipster that is Hockley. It isn’t in their advertising but the chances are that this is the third tier to solve the problem of overcrowding in Hockley’s independent cafes; Hartley’s original remit was to serve the people who couldn’t get a seat in Lee Rosy’s before becoming a place in its own right, so now there’s a place to go when Hartley’s is full. Although I have yet to go there, I’m sure the day will come when we turn up at Hartley’s at a time when we will have no choice but to try the new place.

This morning I recorded the new Sunday Alternative podcast and tried to get through a bit of admin (on a Saturday – no time and a half for the self-employed, maybe a click on the donate button would ease your conscience and allow me to make even more free entertainment for you) before heading to town. Before I troubled myself with that I took Jack to the park opposite our house for a good run around to exercise his body and clear my mind.

After a morning of weekend working I was in the mood for a breakfast. It wasn’t until we got to town at around quarter to one that I realised I hadn’t eaten all day. Energy drinks and John Player Special is not an adequate fuel for the day ahead. I had only had one cup of tea to add insult to injury. At first it had been my intention to have a coffee in Hartley’s before having a wander round the shops. Once I got there however, I decided to have a breakfast so therefore I couldn’t have coffee, as coffee should not be allowed with the full English.

The full English breakfast on offer at Hartley’s is by no means the worst I have ever had; sadly it isn’t the best by a long shot. For four pound fifty I wasn’t expecting a banquet, so for the money it is adequate. Two slices of bacon, one egg, two sausages, tomatoes, mushrooms and two slices of toast was what constituted a breakfast at this establishment. My first criticism is that nothing on the plate appeared to have been fried. In my opinion bacon should not be cooked any other way than in a frying pan, with lard preferably. The only other acceptable preparation is to wrap it around a chipolata sausage but that is only on Christmas Day. All said it was an okay plate that filled a hole but I would regard it as a snack rather than a meal. Saturday services have been a bit hit and miss in the past, but today everyone seemed to be pulling their weight. Scaffolding covers the place at the moment, and the cow was suitably dressed for the occasion, in an outfit that has become synonymous with the decline of this country.

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