I haven’t bothered with Big Brother since the glory days, and have also totally ignored the ‘celebrity’ version. When Channel Four axed the series it was on its last legs so finished at the right time, on a round ten years worth. The whole thing was ruined when Channel Five (yes, it still exists) bought the rights and brought it back in the same year, thus ruining all Channel Four’s farewell programmes in one crass move. The writing was on the wall a few years ago when the tabloid papers stopped printing the full page grid of faces to cut out and keep and cross out on nomination night. The move to Channel Five was greeted with mass indifference due to the format being tired, Davina McCall no longer presenting, and the most vacuous forgettable housemates imaginable. Even the celebrity versions were a bit of a damp squib, not that they ever really contained real megastars of course but there were the occasional genius bookings; Bez, Germaine Greer, Jack Dee but apart from that the barrel was liberally scraped. There’s also the issue of putting people in whose only claim to fame is being a contestant on another show such as The X-Factor. This year’s Celebrity Big Brother had three people from Made In Chelsea, The Only Way Is Essex, and a runner up on The Apprentice involved. They did however secure a strong booking, not a superstar of course but a name guaranteed to have the press sharpening their knives ready to stick them in, Jim Davidson.

Known for his racist and sexist brand of standup comedy, Davidson has attempted to rehabilitate himself over the years and distance himself from his past. To be honest, I don’t personally think he is ‘a racist’ as such, just a throwback to a different era of comedian. Okay so no black man has ever spoken with that ridiculous ‘Chalky’ accent, but he has dismissed that side of his work and although he hasn’t apologised for it, I do feel that he knows that it isn’t acceptable these days. A couple of years ago he wrote and starred in the play Stand Up And Be Counted, which told the story of an old-school standup comedian known for racist humour being confronted by a young black comedian about his humour backstage at a comedy club. It was based on actual events and the co-star of the play was Matt Blaize, who had in real life responded to Davidson’s compliments on his set with a heartfelt tirade about how his childhood had been blighted by taunts from classmates using the Chalky ‘hello der man’ accent at him. This meeting more than anything else signaled the start of Jim Davidson’s rehabilitation project, promoting the tour by allowing himself to be taken to task for his old work. Of course he played the ‘but I’ve got black friends’ card, but that lost its currency when Bernard Manning used it in interviews before going on stage and using the N word for his baying audience.

When I lived in Teesside I met Royston Vasey, the man who pulls on a patchwork suit and a flying helmet to become Roy ‘Chubby’ Brown. There is a man who (no doubt like Manning, Davidson, and Jimmy Jones) comes with a preconceived idea about the sort of person he is. Sorry to shatter this illusion, but Vasey is a softly spoken old man with impeccable manners who in the brief time I spent with him never uttered so much as a ‘shit’. Although I never met (nor wanted to meet) Bernard Manning, people have said the same about him. However with Davidson I have always been under the impression that onstage and off, he would be the same odious prick you always thought he would be.

Last year he was due to take part in the show but was arrested as part of Operation Yewtree, but he carried on writing his blog throughout and maintained his innocence. He lost a year of earnings through legal battles to clear his name, which is probably an incentive to say yes to programmes like this.

Taking part in CBB has (so far, but then he has only just got out) proven to be a public relations masterstroke. I’m sure that the production company wanted him in so that he would say something homophobic or racist (despite trying to justify whatever he said with his own logic) and get a struggling franchise a shot in the arm as far as publicity is concerned. As Channel Five seems to be catering for tabloid newspaper readers, maybe someone like Jim Davidson couldn’t lose with viewers who wouldn’t know who Dappy was.

During his time in the house, apart from being a grumpy old git at times, he did do an admirable job on his reputation. He didn’t from what I saw say anything untoward (possibly learning his lesson from the loss of fee when he was kicked off Hell’s Kitchen for using the expression ‘shirt lifter’) and formed friendships with the members of the house. To further reinforce the whole ‘I’m not a homophobe’ shtick, he wore a face pack with the camp man from Made In Chelsea (indicative of modern celebrity I have already forgotten his name), didn’t allow a minute to pass without hugging the permanently half naked new best friend Dappy, and after his victory interview with Rylan Clarke he kissed him on both cheeks showbiz style.

The papers are now saying that Davidson is in talks to present a show for Channel Five. Given that he is friends with Richard Desmond, he could have probably done that anyway. Having listened to his podcasts (he’s only done a few so far) he can still say the wrong thing if he doesn’t engage his brain first, there have been a few ‘comedy’ accents so far, so a pre-recorded television show is a medium where he can’t fuck up. Big Break was his first real foray into family entertainment and it did really well, he tarnished this by ruining The Generation Game but I’m sure he could still cut it.

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