I was reading a review of a new film that I can't remember the name of today. It was reviewed in The Guardian, The Independent, and The Times, but I can't remember the name of the film. Basically, it was a road film in which out of the ordinary stuff happens during a journey. This particular genre isn't one that I've had a great deal to do with, aside from the Smoky And The Bandit films, and National Lampoon's Vacation, but there's pretty much a formula at work. In keeping with my recent idea about ruining jokes and doing a stand up set that intentionally gets no laughs, I idly pitched a film idea to myself; a road movie in which nothing out of the ordinary happens, nothing goes wrong, and they arrive at their destination on time. Unless there's a traffic problem, but that can't be helped.

The film would be deliberately boring, but once you started watching it you would feel compelled to see it through on the off chance that something happened. It would be a fairly cheap film to produce, requiring just a few hand held cameras, a car, some people, (it might be an idea not to use actors, as real people will come across better), and a few quid to spend on food and drink.

Scene one would consist of the last minute checks that you make before you leave the house; keys, wallet, phone, lock the back door, close all the windows, check you unplugged the iron, and so on. Then you would see the two characters getting into the car and driving off. Perhaps they have to reverse out of the driveway onto the road? Perhaps they live in a terrace and are parked on the road? Where are they going? It would have to be a fairly long journey, and would probably include a visit to a garage for petrol, sweets, a can of pop, a pack of cigarettes, and a visit to the toilet. While in there they could discuss why garages sell sacks of charcoal.