My Perfect Weekend (uncut)

I was featured in today's edition of EG, which is the Friday listings pull out from The Nottingham Post. This was essentially a plug for the radio show dressed up in a regular feature called 'My Perfect Weekend', in which people far more well known than myself plug their wares dressed up as a description of, you get the idea.

This is the unedited version, with footnotes. Anything in yellow type was edited out from my submitted piece.

My Perfect Weekend

I was born in Nottingham, although my family moved around a lot during my childhood. After living in Teesside, Norfolk, Lincolnshire, Essex and London, I moved back to Nottingham as an adult and I think I am settled. Home now is a little Victorian house in Basford that I share with the love of my life Amanda, two cats, and my twelve year old daughter Emily, who lives here part time.

On Friday teatime I meet Amanda from work and go for a drink or two in order to declare the weekend open, otherwise, I'll be travelling to Middlesbrough to collect my daughter. I try to get to as many gigs as possible, music and stand up comedy, but when my daughter is here I do enjoy spending Saturday night watching Doctor Who and X-Factor with a takeaway. Sunday means going to my dad's for a family lunch, with perhaps the cinema afterwards. Afternoon tea in Lee Rosy with the Sunday papers is another enjoyable pursuit. Sunday night tends to be a good comedy night, and the new Just The Tonic (in the Cornerhouse*) is perhaps the best place to see decent stand up.

People of** Nottingham are the luckiest in the UK, as there is so much (for us***) to do; it annoys me when people don't venture into town. Move somewhere less vibrant! During the summer holidays, my daughter and I had a tour of the Council House. We also like to play pitch and putt.

TV wise, I enjoy watching the range of documentary on BBC4;**** if this channel goes, it will be a crime against culture. If the public make the same fuss that we made about 6Music, then there shouldn't be a problem. Amanda and I recently worked through a five series box set of CSI:NY, which hooked me in despite it not being my usual thing. Rubbish sitcoms from the 1970s are a guilty pleasure, as it is always possible to see an episode of Terry and June or On The Buses***** if you look.

We don't get to the cinema as much as we'd like, but I will say that I prefer Broadway to the big chain place******, and I'm pleased to see that Screen Room is reopening.

My favourite meals tend to be home cooking and Amanda and I share duties there, although she does more. Eating out (wise, it*******) tends to be pubs such as Fellows Morten And Clayton********, or The Bell. I am also a fan of The Curry Lounge. If I want a takeaway, it will be a curry, accompanied by cans of Guinness, the Saturday night treat.

I'm not a fitness fanatic, but I do cycle a lot so I think I'm alright on that score.

Autobiographies are my main read, I'm currently reading Stewart Lee's book and have already put Danny Baker's forthcoming book on my Christmas list. Aside from that, I enjoy the Sherlock Holmes books, and Charles Dickens.

At home, I spend a lot of time listening to new music for my (plug) show; I am still sent stuff by people who don't know I have been off air and between stations for three months. I enjoy hearing something new, and Nottingham should be proud of its music scene now. My tastes veer all over the road, punk, ska, rockabilly, rock and roll, I even like music hall songs that were once considered racy but make little sense now. On my show, I might play two or three songs you have heard of, but hope that the listeners notice something they haven't heard.# My radio hero is John Peel, and I model the ethos of the show on his Radio 1 shows, while at the same time aware that I am not fit to lace his Doc Martins. At the weekend, I listen to Danny Baker, and Tony Blackburn's Pick Of The Pops.%

[As far as gigs go, I much prefer seeing a band playing upstairs in a pub to ten people than a megastar at the arena. I think this goes back to my love of finding something new]. As for Nottingham bands, Barnum Meserve, Sapphire Lane, Yunioshi and Dick Venom And The Terrortones are (the Nottingham+) bands that I have had on my show before they are too big to bother. Captain Dangerous, who I have become quite matey with, were the first band that entered my radar when I moved back home, as they opened the new look Market Square. I always missed just missed out on them coming on my show, so they are on my wish list.

{Even though the show is on a local station, as it's online I treat it as an international show}.

My perfect weekend then, (would include##) lazy breakfasts, long lunch, pitch and putt, curry, film and a gig. Then worry about the first song I'm going to play on my radio show (plug).

Footnotes

*The words 'in the Cornerhouse' were added. Presumably as a guide for readers wishing to find said venue.
**Changed to 'people in Nottingham'
***The words 'for us' were added.
****My use of a semi-colon was replaced with a full stop.
*****This is true, I have watched On The Buses first thing in the morning, and late at night. Now we all have several thousand channels to choose from, there is a wider choice of fuck all to watch. I wrote about watching On The Buses here.
******Changed to 'places'.
*******The words in brackets were removed.
********The chef of this place, a guy called Tony, is a very talented chef. He is also a fucking cunt. I didn't write this line as I had an inkling that it would be edited out.

#Started using other symbols now.
%The following paragraph appeared, which was what was written on my original press release for the show:

I was presenting a show on Sherwood Radio but I've a new one starting on Sunday on the new Trend Sound station.

After the line about John Peel's Doc Martins (good name for a band), the following appeared, again this wasn't from the article but from the press release:

I play an eclectic mix of unsigned bands, alternative classics, indie, punk, ska, rockabilly and reggae, with a smattering of comedy sketches and live sessions. There'll be guest co-presenters from the worlds of music and comedy as well.

It is handy that the above appeared really, to give the readers of EG an idea of what I'm about.

+Words in brackets were added.

$That whole bit became And I'm quite matey with Captain Dangerous.

{} This line came from my press release.

##Words in brackets were added.

The yellow paragraph covered by the [ ] symbols were added to the end of the article.