Last night we gathered round to watch a film I bought for Emily as a ‘stocking filler’ type birthday present. I didn’t have high expectations and they were pretty much proved before the credits had rolled, and it will no doubt become one of the albatross videos that you regret buying a child (much like the Teletubbies or Barney videos I bought when Emily was a toddler) because they will want to watch it again and again.
I do have a weird kind of love for obscure films that you can only buy in charity shops or rental shops in the basket outside. Sometimes they may contain an actor you have heard of, Richard Prior and John Candy had a lucrative side career making films that were so forgettable even Richard Prior and John Candy won’t have remembered them.
Dalmatian Fever was only bought because Emily loves dalmatians. No other reason. To give you an outline, it came in a video box that was bigger than conventional video boxes with a helpful arrow system inside so you know how to insert depending on whether the video is either on VHS or on Betamax. The editors employed the extremely 1980s method of screen wiping between scenes, as if it was a new toy. It stars Jake Richardson from Honey We Shrunk Ourselves (so not even one of the good Honey I… films) and Richard Moll from Secret Agent Club (me neither).
An evil gang of comically inept villains who are not as funny as the comically inept villains in any family film requiring comically inept villains are stealing the lovable spotty dogs to sell for their fur to make into clothes. How this premise has never been exploited by, I don't know, say Disney, I will never know. Our heroes, a gang of annoying kids have lost their own Dalmatian and plan to get him back. Throw in a police chief dad who does not have enough time to see his daughter, (one of the gang) a talent show that our gang manage to win enroute, and the fact that the kids catch the villains and you have one very predictable shit film.
So shit that it is brilliant! This is why I buy films like this. I may host a film festival one day only showing forgotten comedy films I bought for a pound or less.
I cannot say the same for The Invisible Kid that I also bought for 25p. Invisibility potion that only works on skin so you have to be naked to use it. Can you see where this is going? About ten films of this ilk, (sexually frustrated American school kids in pursuit of a glimpse of a boob or two and maybe a bit of a feel) exist for every one American Pie that makes it through the net.
I also watched Footloose for the first time this week during my bad back days. Now that is a plot that makes me think there must be a shop in Hollywood that sells plots. New kid in town struggles to fit in, eventually wins everyone over and fits in, while having a bit of a dance. Kevin Bacon could have been acting in Grease, Fame, and High School Musical or about a hundred others. I did like Footloose though, and it is too good a film to be included in a blog like this.
